Home → Archives → Shanghai Diaries: The Blotter
August 2005
- ATTENTION: READERS OF THIS RSS FEED!
Shanghai Diaries has started using del.icio.us for links found in The Blotter, so this feed will no longer be updated. Instead, for several fresh links daily, check the main page at shanghaidiaries.com. Look under “THE BLOTTER.” Also, you can view Dan’s links directly here (rss) and Frank’s links here (rss). Expect more great links on a more regular basis.
June 2005
- Who the hell is Sister Furong?
“She’s another blogger turned amateur celebrity” — and, apparently, she thinks she is much more attractive than she really is. Danwei has more.
- A riot in Chizhou
Isolated incident? Or a trend that could topple the Communists. Here’s what Running Dog thinks.
- Chinese police assault property petitioners in Shanghai
And in Chongqing.
- Chinese journalists protest arrests of colleagues
“In an open letter, the journalists claimed that Yu Huafeng and Li Minying, executives with the Southern Metropolitan Daily, were unfairly prosecuted on trumped-up corruption charges, according to a text of the letter viewed online on Wednesday.”
- China’s state media instructs men on how to measure penis size
“The penis is an important part of the male reproductive organ, and it very important to men.” You don’t say?
- Have you heard the one about a baseball player with a frozen cabbage leaf on his head?
It’s no joke.
- Ice-T to play in Shanghai
See Shanghaiist for the details.
- The pointless rantings of an intolerant American on his way to work
From Craigslist-Shanghai.
- A Shengyou Reporter’s Field Notes
What to do when the government puts a halt on news coverage of a hot story? Publish your notes on the internet.
- 1421: The Year China Discovered America?
Did Admiral Zheng He beat Columbus to the New World? (1)
- The strength of China, the weakness of America
“If China’s attempt to buy an American oil company does nothing else, it should, at long last, force the United States to decide how it plans to protect its economy, husband its resources and grow in a world where it is no longer the only economic powerhouse.”
- A Tale of Two Massacres
“As the rain of stones on Japan increases, The Guardian’s Jonathan Watts finds China sheltering in a glass house.” (1)
- Batman Begins opens in Shanghai on June 29
- Beijing’s ‘Lala’ Scene
A Chinese lesbian speaks out.
- China to pay rural families for giving birth to girls
$200 a year.
- The China Price
“Why Chinese investors are overpaying for struggling American companies.”
- Put it on our tab … again
“Chinese officials ran up a bill at a rural restaurant so large it will take the cash-strapped local government 36 years to pay it off.” How large? $24,000.
- Can this figure possibly be true?
“Workplace accidents in China killed more than 300 people a day in the first half of this year, Xinhua figures show, with coal mines topping the death toll.” 300? A day?!?
- Mao is TIME’s cover boy
The latest major mag to run a special section on China. (When will it stop?) The first, I think, to use a cliched “revolution” headline on the cover. At least they didn’t say it was “China’s century.”
- China offers rewards for tips that help crackdown on piracy
Here’s a tip: Walk down any street in Shanghai during virtually any time of day. Where do I pick up my money?
- Shanghai blogger Isaac Mao sums up Microsoft in one word
“Evil.”
- Polaroid-o-nizer
Turn any photo into a Polaroid … instantly.
- Shanghai is world’s 30th costliest city
Beijing is No. 19, in the annual meaningless list.
- Continental begins non-stop flights from Newark to Beijing
“Continental also applied to fly to Shanghai from Newark, but American Airlines was approved instead for Chicago-Shanghai flights. Nevertheless, Continental in April applied again for service to Shanghai, China, which would begin in March of 2007 if approved.” (1)
- Check out Spoon’s latest video
It’s “I Turn My Camera On” from their album Gimme Fiction, easily one of the best records of 2005 thus far. (1)
- 1041 words and phrases the Chinese internet police don’t like
- Some Chinese farmers actually like pollution
Because it makes them rich.
- How To Be Interrogated by the Public Security Bureau in China
- ‘The overall lesson here is that if you’re planning to commit a crime, California is the place to do it. The DAs are functionally retarded, and the juries won’t convict anyone.’
The Daily Show covers the Michael Jackson verdict.
- ‘Chinese Factory Worker Can’t Believe The Shit He Makes For Americans’
“Why the demand for so many kitchen gadgets?” Chen said. “I can understand having a good wok, a rice cooker, a tea kettle, a hot plate, some utensils, good china, a teapot with a strainer, and maybe a thermos. But all these extra things—where do the Americans put them? How many times will you use a taco-shell holder? ‘Oh, I really need this silverware-drawer sorter or I will have fits.’ Shut up, stupid American.” (2)
- ‘He said he and his friends had been followed and harassed, with one having his car destroyed and another being sent a dead cat.’
Reasons not to befriend Chinese who plan on defecting to Australia.
- ‘Freedom’ is just another word for
nothing left lots and lots to lose
Microsoft helps China police the web. (Yes, I made a Kris Kristofferson lyrical reference. Deal with it.)
- Was that porn on the shelves of a Chinese Wal-Mart?
No. No it wasn’t.
- Interview — excuse me, Skypecast — with Isaac Mao about China’s crackdown on blogs
Nice summary of the currrent state of things. And info on the “Adopt a Chinese Blog” program.
- China Daily: ‘Everyone’s a winner as lottery booms’
Except, of course, the millions of losers.
- Worse than Condi
“Genetically altered rice, which has not been approved for human consumption anywhere in the world, has been found in the food supply in one of China’s biggest cities, Greenpeace charged on Monday.”
- Warner Brothers must hate cam-corder DVDs, too
“In a groundbreaking response to movie piracy, Warner Bros. Entertainment released its latest film on DVD in China the same day it debuted in U.S. theaters. The goal for Warner Bros. is to battle rampant piracy in China by giving movie fans a legitimate alternative to bootlegs.” Um, no. What this does is give people in China the opportunity to buy a perfect quality bootleg DVD the same time the movie is released in the U.S. Thank you Warner Brothers! But who wants to watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants anyway?
- Chinese government declares war on ‘false news’
Really, who knows false news better?
- Wang Jian Shuo’s site ‘remains illegal in China’
As do any other unregistered Chinese blogs.
- Katie Holmes is crazy for Tom Cruise
She is taking lessons in the Church of Scientology.
- Cigarettes: Chinese miracle drug
“Welcome to the bizarre parallel universe of China’s state-owned tobacco monopoly, the world’s most successful cigarette-marketing agency.”
- The ‘Chinese Century’?
The Financial Times says it might be farther off than people think.
- Bring on the ‘Year of the Tiger’ headlines
It’s official now: Woods to tee up in Shanghai.
- ‘It’s almost a cliche to say that Shanghainese girls are spoilt, materialistic and emotionally high-maintenance’
Almost.
- Mobile phones in China are getting cheaper and cheaper and cheaper
(1)
- Celebrities playing table tennis
Lots of photos. (1)
- Clause 57
Sounds kind of like legal thriller, no? Well, it’s more horror than anything else. The Ministry of Information Industry is responsible for the new regulations that force all China-based websites to register with the government (more info here and here). According to Danwei, the MII terms include reference to Clause 57 of the Telecommunications Regulations. And Clause 57 is scary. Visit Danwei for details. (1)
- China Considers Banning Foreign Cartoons From Prime Time
“We really need to encourage domestic-made cartoons,” said Fu Tiezhen, head of the China Cartoon Arts Committee, an industry group. “From the mid-80s, a lot of cartoons from America and Japan were imported into China for free or at very little cost. It’s a kind of dumping.”
- Don’t call it a comeback
He’s been here for years. (OK, it’s a comeback. Another one. Mike Tyson, you so crazy .. but not as crazy as Tom Cruise.)
- Want Zhang Ziyi’s phone number?
Well, you’re too late.
- Numbers game in Shanghai
When the V8 Supercar series runs in Shanghai this weekend, teams 888 and 88 should have plenty of fans. Don’t look for teams 44 and 45, though. They changed their numbers, fearing death I assume.
- It’s times like this when I wish I lived sort of along I-70 between Illinois and California
Invite Unbunny to play a gig at your house!
- Freed dissident wants to resume Web site
“Chinese dissident Huang Qi, freed Sunday after five years in prison, says he wants to reopen his Web site dedicated to victims of the 1989 Tiananmen crackdown.” A good way to become an unfree dissident.
- Chinese authorities declare war on blogs
“The international media organisation Reporters Without Borders voiced alarm yesterday at the Chinese government’s announced intention to close down all China-based websites and blogs that are not officially registered. “
- Mao: The Unknown Story
Jung Chang and Jon Halliday have revealed Mao as one of the 20th century’s greatest monsters, says The Guardian’s Michael Yahuda.
- Shanghai cracks down on pirated movies
It’s in anticipation of the city’s film festival, which starts Saturday. “To crack down against the pirate DVDs is our job and duty,” Lan Yiming, deputy head of Shanghai’s culture inspection bureau, said in a telephone interview. “We want to create a good cultural environment for the international film festival and give guests from home and abroad a good impression.” And then, of course, after the festival is will be back to business as usual. FYI: I saw a copy of Star Wars III at my local store just yesterday.
- The Year of the Yao
This documentary film chronicles Yao Ming’s first year in the NBA. The “Chinese version” will premiere at this month’s Olympic culture festival in Beijing. Let’s hope the “Chinese version” is just the original version with Chinese subtitles.
- Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson
Anne Bancroft dies at age 73.
- ‘Rogue players,’ match fixing and wild accusations
Just another season in the China Super League. Shanghai Zobon midfielder Shen Si on his suspension: “Actually I was banned from playing before the decision was made. The only difference now is that I am banned from training. I actually don’t care about them stopping my salary. I have been playing football for many years and I have saved enough for my family.”
- The Chinese people vote!
(About Panda names.)
- So the rest of us are left with the ‘unlucky’ taxis?
“A Shanghai taxi company has banned cabs with unlucky license plates from carrying students to college entrance exams this week. Dazhong, the city’s largest taxi company, won’t carry students in cabs whose license plate ends in the number four, which is pronounced in the Shanghai dialect the same as the word ‘failure.’ Many Chinese avoid four because it is pronounced the same as ‘death’ in widely spoken Mandarin.”
- Am I reading this correctly?
If so, it seems that Beijing has banned celebrity endorsements of products. This is huge, no? (And what the hell is “oral liquid”?) (1)
- Man, China bans everything
First, they told us we can’t eat off of naked people. Now, we can’t even trade or sell our organs! Sheesh.
- For the REAL patriots!
The biggest damn “Support Our Troops” ribbon ever! Let everyone know you are a REALLY good American! Too big for most foreign cars. (During my recent trip home, I felt as though I was the only person without a yellow ribbon on my car or a yellow bracelet on my wrist. This means, of course, that I am a COMMUNIST. Definitely not a good American. Or a good person. But if I get me one of these big ribbons, I reckon they’ll let me back in the club. Funny how things work.)
- Guangzhou students no longer banned from bathroom during testing
Well, kind of. The rule, which was put into place to curb cheating — and, yes, Chinese students love to cheat — allows only students who “really feel unwell” to visit the bathroom accompanied by a supervisor. Students “in normal condition” still have to hold it.
- There is a museum about the Cultural Revolution
And would you believe it is in China?
- Chinese ‘opinion’ poll
As asked by the state-run media. Pretty much covers all the possible angles, don’t you think?
- Need a pair of shoes? Find this man
“A Shanghai man is stuck with 32,000 pairs of shoes after buying them in an auction. He thought he had picked up a bargain when he successfully bid about £2 a pair for the Dunlop shoes. But then he learned he could not resell them because he was not an authorised dealer of the shoe company.”
- The force is with you, Shanghai — in a nice six-DVD box set
From Sinosplice: “The full two-trilogy Star Wars DVD set is already available for purchase in Shanghai in two attractive versions: the simple 6-disc set (60rmb) and the deluxe 10-disc set featuring the “making of” segments (200rmb). Both look extremely professional and come in a special case, shrink-wrapped and all.”
- Newsweek cover girl Zhang Ziyi gets flushed by The New York Post
And the Chinese-language media in North America ain’t happy about it. One commentator said, “If it were not Zhang Ziyi but some other movie star or celebrity in American society, the New York Post wouldn’t dare do it. Or if they did it, there would be some blowback.” ESWN begs to differ.
- Reviews of DVDs that may or may not be pirated but were definitely bought on the street in Shanghai for about a dollar
- Spidey protests in Hong Kong on Tiananmen anniversary
“Adrian Smith, a member of the activist group [International Action], said that the protester was English-language tutor Matt Pearce, of Britain. Smith said that Pearce was arrested, but had yet to be charged. … [Pearce] was dressed as a worker and wore a yellow hardhat when he scaled the TV screen. After he unfurled the banner, he stripped off his worker’s clothes and appeared dressed as comic book and Hollywood superhero Spider-Man. As a fire truck arrived to bring him down, he sat on the sign and read a newspaper, chatted on a cell phone and ate take-out Chinese food. Firefighters inflated a huge cushion in the street to protect the protester if he fell.” The above link directs you to video footage of the “event.” Evidently Mr. Pearce eats Chinese take-out a lot. The Spider-Man suit does not lie.
- Old images of Shanghai
Courtesy of Wattis Fine Art in Hong Kong, which is running the exhibition “Shanghai Century 1842-1943: One Hundred years of a dynamic metropolis” through June 30.
- Cracking down on corruption — one mistress at a time
“Nanjing city government has issued a regulation requiring public officials to report their extramarital affairs in a controversial bid to curb corruption. According to marriage law experts, 95% of China’s convicted corrupt officials had mistresses.”
- Another man down
“China has detained a prominent member of Hong Kong’s international press corps who traveled to the mainland to obtain a collection of secret interviews with a Communist leader purged for opposing the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre.” This is getting very, very scary.
May 2005
- China bans meals served on naked women
Wait — this used to be legal? (1)
- Shanghai to workers: You’re fat
“‘The biggest problems among government clerks and officials are obesity, poor heart and lung functioning, and poor balance,’ Zhang Chengyao, of the Xuhui District Sports Administration, was quoted as saying.” Balance?
- Chinese Man Gets Prison For Eating Dead Body
“China has reportedly sentenced a man to two and a half years in prison for digging up a woman’s corpse and eating parts of her body. The official Xinhua News Agency said the man dug up the woman’s remains the same day she had been buried.” And authorities said the guy wasn’t crazy. Wha?!?
- Japanese ‘hugging pillow’
Weird. But I still prefer the lap pillow.
- 15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense
A few years old. But eternally useful.
- China: Death by a Thousand Blogs
Nicholas Kristof thinks blogs might bring down the communist government. I doubt it.
- OK. I admit it. I really like Gwen Stefani’s video for “Hollaback Girl.”
I think it might have something to do with all those cheerleader outfits. (2)
- 101 things not to say in China
- Ready or not, China gets blogged
From WIRED: “Chan, who was raised in Hong Kong but today calls Chengdu, Sichuan, home, realized that doing anything that involves politics could mean trouble, but he also believed this was an opportunity to see whether blogs, which have not yet caught on in China, could translate. Within four days of launching kangri.blogku.com, he reached more than 10,000 people. He also drew the attention of the Gong An, the Chinese police in charge of monitoring the net.” (1)
- China blocks GayChinese.net
“The manager of the site, Damien Lu says the government has offered no explanation for blocking it. Lu said that although it contains information on AIDS, community events and news it does not contain political or sexually explicit content.”
- Shenzhen soccer players are “gangsters”
Yang Saixin, interim board chairman of Chinese Super League champions Shenzhen Jianlibao, said on Wednesday the club has succumbed to some “ruffian” players who have always wanted to control the club. “Some of them are far more than football players,” said Yang at a new conference. “They are multimillionaires, have their own companies and are able to fix matches. They are more gangsters than players.”
- A Clampdown on China
Nicholas D. Kristof: “The most important person in the world right now may be Hu Jintao, and we’re beginning to get a better sense of what kind of a leader he is: disappointing.”
- The blog is mightier than the sword
Story from The Standard featuring Hong Kong bloggers ESWN and Glutter.
- Everything. Everyone. Everywhere. Ends.
The final season of HBO’s Six Feet Under begins June 6. I’m excited. And I’m sad. Don’t want it to end.
- Ma Jian on ‘China’s Internet dictatorship’
“Eleven years after its initial connection to the World Wide Web (WWW), China’s access to the Internet is still guarded by firewalls, embedded in its proxy servers, which have proven to be more practical and impenetrable than the Berlin Wall. Moreover, an increase in the demand for broadband connection has triggered the launch of an $800 million ‘Jin Dun (Golden Shield) Project,’ an automatic digital system of public policing that will help prolong Communist rule by denying China’s people the right to information.”
- Shanghai police arrest 1,300 for gambling
“As of last month, police had arrested more than 10,000 gambling suspects and closed hundreds of illegal gambling parlors around the country, including recreation centers for the elderly to play mahjong.”
- Shanghai Dreams
From the Hollywood Reporter: “In many ways, Wang Xiaoshuai’s ‘Shanghai Dreams’ is a conventional family drama exploring the division between traditional parents and their independence-seeking children. The film becomes remarkable because of the cultural and political background of its setting: rural China in the 1980s.”
- So sad. So disgusting.
“The first ever study into child abuse in China suggests it is widespread, with children raped, molested and bullied, state media said. The study, conducted in the past two months on 3,500 college students in five provinces and one municipality, found 9.7 percent of boys and 13.5 percent of girls had been molested.”
- “She rose to the pinnacle of her profession. She was one of the most powerful and successful alien smugglers of our times.”
The trial of Sister Ping.
- The blog of The Far Eastern Economic Review
It’s called “Travellers’ Tales.”
- ‘Four of every five sports stars adored by Chinese children come from NBA’
- From Britney to Brit pop to Beijing
“Stuart Watson, the music industry veteran who helped to launch Britney Spears, has been hired by the Government to promote British pop music in China. … But he added that the strict system of censorship and government control in China means that picking the right acts is crucial. ‘Simple, ballad-oriented pop music’ would be appropriate, he said.” Sounds about right.
- Bai Ling to Pitt and Jolie: ‘We should have a threesome!’
And Danwei links to her photos from Playboy. (1)
- Foreign media uses ‘so-called facts’ in attempt to prove China is ‘not good’
So says a senior official with the State Council Information Office in Beijing.
- The top 10 myths and truths about design in China
- Dave Chappelle is not crazy
At least that is what the voices inside his head are telling him.
- OK, now this is not cool
And I don’t even like cats.
- Mp3s from Sufjan’s new album Illinois
I have the whole album. Good stuff. “Come On, Feel the Illinoise!” rocks. Michigan, Illinois — only 48 more states to go.
- Sun Ming Ming is very, very tall
Almost 7-foot-9, actually. And he’s training in North Carolina for a shot at the NBA.
- Things the Chinese Really Wanted to Protest Before They Settled on Japan
No. 34? German Hip-Hop.
- Look, nobody cares that you’re a DJ
“You know who you are. Standing behind that deck of turntables, holding one headphone to your ear, being pretentious and aloof as you play with knobs and shuffle through records. You can just settle down, because nobody cares that you’re a DJ.” Fitting for Shanghai.
- Shawn Bradley is ‘the guy who wants to play half-court’
“If you stare at pro players long enough, they start to look less like superheroes and more like the guys we’ve all hooped with at the YMCA.”
- Shanghai to build world’s tallest ferris wheel!
Goodie! This will surely help erase the growing gap between rich and poor!
- Trying to make Shanghai’s toilets less shitty
“Finding a toilet has traditionally been simply a matter of following one’s nose. … The city has built thousands of new apartment buildings with modern plumbing, but in many older housing districts, chamber pots are used at night, then toted to the nearest public toilet to be emptied next morning.” Yummy. My friend Catherine used to call this Eau de Shanghai.
- What color eyes will your children have?
An online calculator. (Not sure if this will be so much fun for my Chinese readers, though.)
- Neil Young at work on a new album
Not even a brain aneurysm can stop the legend!
- “Apocalyptic Summer” in store for China
This is regarding weather, not a music tour.
- Transvestite contest
Photos courtesy of — you guessed it — China’s state-run media.
- Yao Ming will summer in Houston, not China
“I just want to relax,” Yao said. “I don’t want to do anything.” Houston sounds like the right place then.
- “My husband slipped right after he stood up on the bed to get ready for the games.”
Shanghai wedding-night bedroom hijinks end in broken arm.
- The U.S. flag as an infographic
Red: In favor of the war in Iraq, White: Against the war in Iraq, Blue: Don’t know where Iraq is [UPDATE: Here is China’s flag … Red: Minors at 14 years old who work, Yellow: Minors at 14 years old who study]
- Chinese watermelon art
Interesting. But is it really Chinese?
- FDA wants sperm banks to bar donors who’ve had gay sex
“Under these rules, a heterosexual man who had unprotected sex with HIV-positive prostitutes would be OK as a donor one year later, but a gay man in a monogamous, safe-sex relationship is not OK unless he’s been celibate for five years,” said Leland Traiman, director of a clinic in Alameda, California, that seeks gay sperm donors.
- ‘The Faces of Shanghai’
Fun photo slide show from the New York Times. Pics are OK but the captions are better. We learn that Shanghainese really like Growing Pains and lose their mobile phones — a lot.
- North Carolina minister ex-communicates members for not backing Bush
And he says his actions weren’t politically motivated. Shit like this scares the hell out of me. (1)
- The Onion A.V. Club interviews Ben Folds
I have Ben’s new one, Songs for Silverman, and I’m not feeling it yet. Maybe it will grow on me. But I have a feeling the EPs that led up to this release are better.
- Star Wars fans in China can be overwhelmingly disappointed just as soon as those in the rest of the world
Revenge of the Sith opens in China on May 20. Allegedly it includes scenes from the Yunnan countryside. (1)
- Not sure what is freakier — extraterrestrials or the people who believe in them
“Meng Zhaoguo, a rural worker from northeast China’s Wuchang city, says he was 29 years old when he broke his marital vows for the first and only time — with a female extraterrestrial of unusually robust build. … ‘She was three meters (10 feet) tall and had six fingers, but otherwise she looked completely like a human,’ he says of his close encounter with an alien species. ‘I told my wife all about it afterwards. She wasn’t too angry.’” It just gets stranger from there.
- Just Say No! (to the internet)
“A Chinese company has launched a new service to break the internet addiction of youngsters in the northwest city of Xi’an. … During the ongoing week-long May Day holiday, the company will provide 20 adolescents from poverty-stricken families with a free five-day, closed-door intensive training programme to broaden their interests and break through their addiction. At present, there are four major methods for breaking net addiction: the conversation method, desensitisation therapy, medication and hypnotherapy.”
- Paris Hilton doesn’t know what a blog is
AP: Do you read blogs? Hilton: What’s that? AP: Um, they’re these things on the Internet where people write about news and stuff. Hilton: No, I don’t really read anything on the Internet except my AOL mail. I don’t like people who sit on computers all day long and write about people they don’t know anything about. AP: Paris, you just described my job.
- Who you callin’ laowai?
“You’re way off the mark, however, about ‘laowai,’ which you say is supposed to be ‘the most polite word the Chinese have for foreigners.’ Under no circumstances is that true — not even in theory.”
- Egads!
The New York Times/International Herald Tribune uses the hackneyed phrase “China syndrome” in headlines for two separate stories on the same day. Here and here.
- Newsweek calls this ‘China’s Century’
Just 10 months after the New York Times Magazine said the exact same thing.
- Reasons we can’t have a baby, honey
From McSweeney’s.
- The sad case of Shi Tao
My inbox, thanks to the Shanghai Foreign Correspondents’ Club email list, is currently filling up with a debate about Shi Tao, the Chinese journalist found guilty “of illegally providing top state secrets to overseas organizations.” (Slightly related: China journalist ordered not to receive press freedom award)
- Please, please, please don’t cancel Arrested Development
I love this show. And it seems I’m not the only one who feels this way. (An aside: I hate Yahoo! News’ new layout. Am I the only one who feels this way?) (1)
- How we would fight China
Robert D. Kaplan’s story in The Atlantic Monthly.
- Want to get in on Shanghai’s real estate boom?
You’re probably too late.
- A short history of the Chinese restaurant
“According to Chinese Restaurant News, there are now more Chinese restaurants in America than there are McDonald’s franchises — nearly three times as many in fact.” Wait, there’s a magazine called Chinese Restaurant News?
April 2005
- Chinese climbers to clean up Everest
“Some 615 tons of waste, including ‘more and more poisonous elements,’ had been strewn across Mount Everest since 1921, the newspaper said without giving details.”
- “This can never be a humane industry.”
Inside China’s disgusting bear bile farms.
- Is Chery the next Toyota?
That’s what Malcolm Bricklin would like us to think. But, then again, he’s the guy who gave us the Yugo.
- “By any standard, Pudong is the place that best represents China’s changes in the past two decades and symbolizes the country’s future.”
Does that, then, mean that China’s future is a boring, poorly planned mess?
- Hu’s your dictator?
“More than two years after taking office amid uncertainty about his political views, Chinese President Hu Jintao is emerging as an unyielding leader determined to preserve the Communist Party’s monopoly on power and willing to impose new limits on speech and other civil liberties to do it, according to party officials, journalists and analysts.”
- Nogger Black: Racist ice cream
Which I guess is worse than conservative ice cream. And definitely not as funny.
- Craigslist launches Shanghai site
Very, very interesting. (Thanks for the link, Ryan!)
- “Our conclusion is that Hong Kong people are no smaller than western men, where their penises are concerned.”
- “Damn, Shorty, you got knocked the f*ck out!”
Ever wanted to kick Paris Hilton’s ass? Thanks to celebritygirlfight.com, now you can. Ciara, Beyonce, Lohan, J. Lo and Lil Kim, too. Oddly, no scratching allowed.
- Why Google is like Wal-Mart
“It turns out that Wal-Mart, the world’s most profitable retailer, and Google, the virtual world’s most profitable search seller, have a lot more in common than you might think.”
- Chinese official orders end to anti-Japanese demonstrations
“Cadres and the masses must believe in the party and the government’s ability to properly handle all issues linked to Sino-Japanese relations,” Mr. Li was quoted as saying. “Calmly, rationally and legally express your own views. Do not attend marches that have not been approved. Do not do anything that might upset social stability.” But I thought many of the anti-Japan marches were approved. No? (Also: Ironically, China’s anti-Japan fervor is making citizens in Hong Kong and Taiwan less rather than more patriotic)
- Who is China’s “model worker”
He just might be a 7-foot-6 millionaire living in the United States.
- Shanghai sentences two Americans for selling fake DVDs, proving China is cracking down on piracy
And I purchased Sin City yesterday for less than a dollar. (1)
- You think the United States has a Social Security problem?
Take a look at China.
- Wait. So now you can see the Great Wall from outer space again?
Thank God.
- No so fast, Mumbai
India’s boom town has a ways to go before it can be called the “next Shanghai.”
- China wants your trash
“Recycling has legs — sea legs, in many cases — and it is roaming far from home. The most common destination is China, a country hungry for our ‘scrap’ — wastepaper, plastics and metal — to feed its quickly developing economy.” And I always thought China had enough garbage of its own.
- “Straight Outta Compton”: EXPLICIT CONTENT ONLY
Dope.
- China’s internet filters strong, sophisticated and subtle
And here is how blocked Chinese blogger Isaac Mao thinks China’s Great Firewall Mechanism might look. (1)
- Why, oh why, would Carl Lewis put this music video on his website?
Can he actually be proud of it?
- Who is to blame for high gas prices in the US?
According to President Bush it’s — you guessed it — China. (1)
- More Shanghai couples have second child
“Most of the rapid increase can be credited to couples that both come from one-child families, who are now allowed to have a second child without paying any penalty. Another group responsible for the increase is couples where one spouse is an only child and the other is a farmer.”
- But what about all the NFL fans whose last name really is ‘Mexico’?
Since the name “Ron Mexico” was listed as an alias for Atlanta quarterback Michael Vick in a lawsuit filed last month, people have gone to the NFL’s online store to order Vick’s No. 7 replica jersey with a personalized “MEXICO” on the back. But fans trying to order the customized jersey now get this message: “The personalization entered cannot be accepted.”
- Anti-Japan protests in Shanghai?
A Danwei reader is claiming one is planned for Saturday morning in Xujiahui. For more on the unending China-Japan imbroglio, I encourage you to read Andres Gentry’s thoughtful analysis or ESWN’s examination of Chinese textbooks. Also, Simon has some details about China’s other recent riot — one against the government of a small city in Zhejiang. (2)
- Beijing intends to ban smoking at all Olympic venues
Good luck.
- “It’s incredible. I never thought that a pig could be so clever, dexterous and versatile.”
Anybody want to go to the Shanghai Pig Olympics with me? “Thousands of locals have made their way to Hongkou District’s Heping Park to watch some 20 pig athletes from Thailand take part in sporting events over the past month. The four-legged athletes battle it out in running, hurdles, jumping through a hoop, swimming and diving every day at 10am and 1pm.”
- Japan’s not the only country that cooks the textbooks
“While learning materials in mainland high schools take special pains to outline Japanese aggression beginning with the 1874 invasion of Taiwan, China’s involvement in the 1950-53 Korean war is dismissed in one sentence. … Completely absent from textbooks is China’s 1951 invasion and subsequent colonisation of an independent Tibet. Erased, too, is the 1962 attack on India and the ill-fated 1979 incursion into Vietnam.”
- What’s on President Bush’s iPod?
Kenny Chesney? Check.
- Image America
A professional photographer travels across North America armed only with a camera phone. Great idea. Great shots.
- Yao Ming is a gadget geek
He’s the new spokesman for Garmin, makers of GPS handhelds. But, then again, what product isn’t Yao the spokesman for?
- “Maybe piracy is the only way”
A TIME/CNN poll says Asia’s views on piracy are changing — but not in China.
- Unintentionally sexual comic book covers
(1)
- Britney’s pregnant, y’all!
It’s now official … America has gotten a little bit dumber. (And you thought that wasn’t possible.) [UPDATE: Britney’s Reality Show Debuts May 17]
- Watch Tiger’s amazing shot on No. 16 at The Masters
Even if you are not a golf fan, you have to appreciate this. He is most definitely back. (You can also download the file directly from Waxy here.)
- BOOM goes the dynamite!
I feel so, so, so bad for Brian Collins, the Ball State student who you won’t be seeing on SportsCenter … ever. But not bad enough to stop me from sharing what Frank is calling the “funniest thing ever.” It’s the sportscast from hell — but at least “Reggie Miller’s looking good.” (The link above includes a link to the WMV clip of the broadcast and some comments worth reading. Or you can download the clip directly here.) (2)
- Hotel bellboys can double the size of their tips, on average, by showing guests how the TV and air conditioning work
And other interesting facts about tipping. (1)
- Shanghai police to install SMS hotline
“Through the short message platform, users input the information into their cell phones and send it to police number 110. The police headquarters will immediately receive the notice and can take action.” [UPDATE: This way it will be easier for Japanese people to contact the police when stupid Chinese people attack them with beer mugs and ash trays.]
- Cui Jian says censors making “progress”
No lyrics were changed on the Chinese rock star’s latest album Show You Color. “That was the biggest surprise,” said Cui, who performed during the 1989 pro-democracy Tiananmen Square protests. “To me, this is at least progress. A bunch of lyrics on my last album were changed.” (1)
- Shanghai women have the firmest breasts in China
But they’re also the smallest. If you want big boobs — well, big by Asian standards — head to Beijing. Guangzhou women have the slimmest waists. And women from Taipei are just “hot.” This is all from the China Daily website, based on a survey conducted by “an underwear company.” (And if you read the story, could you please tell me what “thick back” is? Whatever it is, Shanghai women don’t suffer from it … because of their small, firm breasts.) (5)
- A Newark to Shanghai direct flight?
Continental wants to make it a reality.
- Listen to Andrew Bird on KCRW’s Morning Becomes Eclectic
So what if he was once a member of Squirrel Nut Zippers — his album is one of my early favorites of 2005.
- Leave Shanghai … or die
“About 20 percent of Shanghai men under age 40 suffer symptoms of early aging, including fatigue, irritability, incontinence and sexual dysfunction, according to the study by the city’s Renji Hospital. That’s double the percentage during the 1980s, according to the survey paid for by the city government, results of which were published in official newspapers Thursday.”
- Ron Mexico?
“Claiming that Michael Vick gave her herpes, a Georgia woman is suing the star NFL quarterback for negligence and battery. … [The] lawsuit alleges that Vick has used the name ‘Ron Mexico’ and, in a related court filing, her lawyers are seeking Vick’s admission that he used the ‘Mexico’ alias — and perhaps other fake names — ‘for the purpose of herpes testing and/or treatment.’” (1)
- Implausible claims made by Vanilla Ice in his 1990 No. 1 hit “Ice Ice Baby”
- China killing off suicide websites
“The website reportedly gives detailed advice on different methods of ending one’s life and the level of pain. It rates the success of different methods.”
- The Chinese love us
Well, maybe they don’t love us — but they sure as hell want to marry us.
- A good blog about the Beijing music scene
So, Micah, when are you going to start the Shanghai music blog? (1)
- Pinyin to Unicode converter
Very handy tool. I should use it more often.
- Are you an Intellectual Building Manager?
Well, then you’re in luck. China has just made your profession official. And, to all you Enterprise Cultural Designers, you can rest easy now, too.
- Want to see the house I grew up in?
Be prepared to squint.
March 2005
- What does “Washburn” mean?
The definitions at UrbanDictionary.com might surprise you. Or maybe not.
- Who owns virtual weapons?
I can’t believe I just asked that question … but listen to this: “A Shanghai online game player stabbed to death a competitor who sold his cyber-sword … creating a dilemma in China where no law exists for the ownership of virtual weapons. Qiu Chengwei, 41, stabbed competitor Zhu Caoyuan repeatedly in the chest after he was told Zhu had sold his ‘dragon sabre,’ used in the popular online game, ‘Legend of Mir 3.’”
- Get it Louder
“A visual noise made by young creatives around the globe.” Whatever that means. It’s coming to Shanghai May 21-29. (1)
- Juicy new cast for VH1’s The Surreal Life
Jose Canseco. Omarosa. Salt (or is she Pepa?). And — my favorite — Bronson Pinchot, aka Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Strangers.
- In defense of the blogger
Slate’s Jack Shafer takes the Los Angeles Times’ David Shaw to task for calling bloggers “solipsistic, self-aggrandizing journalist-wannabe[s],” among other things.
- NBA player has a blog
OK, he’s a bench player — in fact, one of my friends called him an “uber-scrub” — but the Phoenix Suns’ Paul Shirley does have a blog. And it’s actually a rather good read.
- Shanghai’s spunk is junk
Shanghai’s sperm banks are running low. “In the past two years, more than 2,000 people came here for physical checks and only 400 were found to be qualified,” said Dr Li Zheng, the sperm bank’s director. “More than 60 percent washed out due to sperm quality.” They are looking for donors — you get RMB 3,000 for 10 “donations.” Unfortunately, non-Chinese aren’t allowed to donate. I asked. Seriously. (And, if you are keeping track, this is the second time the word “spunk” has appeared on this website in a week.)
- Beijing to relocate 5 million residents to the suburbs
5 million! Sure, it’s over the next 15 years. But still — that’s more than the population of Atlanta. “Experts forecast that by 2020, 90 percent of Beijing’s residents will live in the suburbs, Xinhua said. By then, the city’s total population will have risen to 17.64 million but the number living within the city center will have dropped from the current seven million to 1.93 million, Xinhua said.” Doesn’t seem possible.
- “Uncivilized behavior” angers Beijing residents
Spitting everywhere. Failing to clean up after pet dogs. Littering. These are the top three annoyances of people who call China’s capital home. Which makes me wonder: If these ills are so rampant, did this survey manage to question the only 770 people in Beijing who aren’t guilty?
- Shanghai named “most livable city in China”
Followed by Dalian, Beijing, Guangzhou, Chengdu, Qingdao, Hangzhou, Guilin, Zhuhai and Xiamen. What — no Lanzhou?
- “I want to move the big eye off me.”
Sinosplice John’s famous quote from a recent AP story on Chinese censorship of the web. Poetic, no? Seems to have earned John at least one fan from NYC’s Chinatown. He likes John so much he called him a racist.
- The best Chinese-language movies … ever
As ranked by the Hong Kong Film Awards Association. 1948’s Spring in a Small Town is No. 1, followed by John Woo’s A Better Tomorrow and Wong Kar Wai’s Days of Being Wild. Ang Lee’s Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon came in at No. 10. Zhang Yimou failed to crack the top-20 and had only two films — 1987’s Red Sorghum and 1992’s Story of Qiuju — in the top 100.
- Download Ryan Adams’ The Destroyer Sessions
Songs recorded with Gillian Welch and David Rawlings during the same sessions that led to Adams’ 2000 release Heartbreaker, easily his best album to date.
- Short-attention span television
There’s a new Chinese show called Appointment. It’s about a love triangle. Its episodes are five minutes long. And it can only be seen on mobile phones.
- Can China become the first alt-fuel superpower?
The author of this WIRED story seems to think it is possible: “Decades behind developed nations when it comes to supporting a car culture, China may actually benefit from its very backwardness. All those bicycles mean there isn’t a cumbersome — and entrenched — gasoline infrastructure to stand in the way of the next big thing. That’s why China hopes to eventually bypass the oil-based auto culture and go right to a hydrogen economy.” One of the main sources for the story? Our very own Wang Jian Shuo.
- Are you a baseball fan?
If so, go to ondeckbaseball.com. Scott Rex, the guy who runs it, is a friggin’ baseball genius. Head on over to his site … before your fantasy baseball season begins.
- Get China Super League season tickets for as little as 50 kuai
Some soccer fans are not even sure if it’s worth that.
- Screw MTV: Decemberists release new video over BitTorrent
“No matter where you stand on issues of copyright, a network like BitTorrent is really for exactly this kind of thing — when you have content that you want to freely distribute,” said Slim Moon, founder of Kill Rock Stars, the Decemberists’ record label. “It seems like … the most logical way to distribute.” I wonder if Slim is really fat. Wouldn’t that be ironic! Anyway, you can download the torrent file for the “Sixteen Military Wives” video here. By the way, Pitchfork gives the Decemeberists’ new album Picaresque an 8.3.
- Beware China’s ‘most imposing ping pong league’!
“Frankly speaking, there is yet not a ping pong league that can do as the World Cup in soccer or the NBA in basketball. But China will make different. It’s no doubt that China has made it to have its name on the ping pong sport.” F**kin’-A, yeah!
- So that’s why some people liked Closer
They were reading the Chinese subtitles … which have absolutely nothing to do with the actual story. (But for a movie like Closer, is that really a bad thing?) John from Sinosplice, in a hilarious post, takes the time to translate one scene’s worth of the Chinese subtitles from his bootlegged DVD of Closer. And then he pairs them with what the charcters actually said. The result is a work of pure genius. But you’ve got to feel awful for Chinese who spend a lifetime watching MadLib versions of Western movies. Must be amazingly confusing at times. And maybe it explains many of their misconceptions about foreigners — all of our words are written by some schlub down in Shenzhen.
- American version of The Office premieres Thursday
Am I crazy for being excited about this? I’ve read some positive reviews, including one from England’s The Observer. Here’s a taste: “At one stage, Scott addresses a Hispanic worker called Oscar. ‘Is there any term besides Mexican that you prefer? Something less offensive?’ ‘Mexican is not offensive!’ Oscar replies indignantly. Scott considers this, before suggesting blithely: ‘Well, it has certain connotations.’”
- Macintosh hacker attacks are on the rise
Don’t worry: Macs are still cooler than PCs.
- In Shanghai, you can now order a taxi with a text message
But you have to learn how to write in Chinese first.
- Charles Darwin has a posse
Stickers and bookmarks sure to be a huge hit in the Bible Belt.
- Betting on NBA legal in China
Well, kind of. “Lottery players in Shanghai will only be able to make predictions on the results of each of the four quarters, the sum of both teams’ final scores, and also their differences. Tickets cost 2 yuan ($0.242) and prize money will depend on sales numbers.”
- If you have AIDS in Yunnan
… you’re fired.
- Download Fiona Apple’s Extraordinary Machine
This is the album Sony doesn’t want you to hear. Or at least it’s the album they didn’t want to have to pay money for you to hear. Not commerical enough — which is music to my ears. Anyway, the above link has links to each of the unreleased album’s 11 tracks in mp3 form. If those links don’t work for you — they left me with partial files — the page also links to a torrent for the album via TorrentBox. I was also able to find a torrent through TorrentSpy. If you feel guilty about downloading for free, consider donating to the Free Fiona campaign. How is Extraordinary Machine? I don’t know yet. Ask me in 1 hour 26 minutes and 56 seconds. (3)
- Passage to Kefalonia
Frank, the designer of ShanghaiDiaries.com, is traveling in Greece. Join him.
- Don’t fret: Fewer Beijing taxis look like fire engines
Xinhua has a story about Beijing’s new “good-looking” taxis. The story, like all Xinhua pieces, contains vivid imagery: “Taxis are regarded as the ‘name card’ of a city. In past years, taxis were basically painted yellow or red. Some foreigners who came to Beijing for the first time wondered why Beijing had so many fire engines on the streets. Especially in the scorching summer, red taxis sometimes induced a fretting mood.”
- China’s 50 Most Beautiful People
From the work unit: “The Beijing News borrows a picture of Maggie Cheung from Cosmo for the cover of today’s Entertainment insert, ‘50 Most Beautiful People in China.’ Ms. Cheung take the top spot, with Takeshi Kaneshiro, Little S, Zhang Ziyi, and Liu Ye rounding out the top five in this exercise that is a conscious imitation of People magazine’s yearly rundown.”
- Dedicated to all da real azz hoez in SHANGHAI CITY!!
Bigtime blog Boing Boing recently linked to ShanghaiNing.com, a site dedicated to the wonderful world of Shanghai rap. I wonder if they actually listened to any of the songs — they are (mostly) fantastically awful, but worth checking out for a laugh. The songs are a mash of Shanghainese, Mandarin and English. An example of the English, taken from the song “KTV” by MC Lucy and MC NiggaSlim: “Let me hold that shit! Nigga! Bitch azz hoe! Yeah, dat’s it, that’s all there is to it dawg. Ohhh, by the way, and I just wanna f**k all tha bad bitchez in NJC!!! Cut dat shit off, Nigga. It’s WESTSIDE!!”
- Chinese instant messaging slang
The list includes opa which is supposed to be “short” for OK. Ah, Chinese efficiency.
- Shanghai store to sell maids, other household appliances
“The supermarket, which covers 3,000 square meters, will have a display division that includes a simulated house. The artificial house has beds, electrical appliances, cleaning supplies and clothing. The potential customer can ask any one of the housemaids to display her skills according to his requirements in the simulated family environment.”
- But why do the city’s sports teams suck so much?
Shanghai is named China’s “most competitive city.”
- Shanghai students allowed to replace Maoist tunes with Jay Chou and Andy Lau
“The newspaper quoted students as saying they were fed up with singing old revolutionary songs extolling the virtues of communism, such as ‘Seeing Off the Red Army,’ and ‘Chairman Mao is with Us Forever.’ ‘We are always asked to sing monotonous revolutionary songs,’ it quoted student Wang Wenjia as saying. ‘Finally we can sing something of our own.’” [UPDATE: Too much Cantopop, say propaganda minders.]
- ‘Hunting’ with Lions Banned in China
“The sight of big cats chasing and killing cows, chickens and other animals is common in Chinese wildlife parks. Some let visitors pay to have more exotic prey such as small deer thrown to the predators. … Captivity has dulled the cats’ hunting instincts, and some can take hours to kill their struggling prey.”
- Top 100 sports movie quotes
My favorite: “Well, Nuke’s scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man’s here. We need a live … is it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose’s glove, and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present.” (1)
- Daily Show Clip Listing Parser
Making it easier for all of us to enjoy the best of the best fake news show on television.
- Running Dog says “Sorry”
Because nobody else in this friggin’ country will.
- Forbes names China’s top celebrities
Yao Ming is No. 1 — again — followed by Zhang Ziyi and Liu Xiang. Celebrities from Taiwan and Hong Kong were not included on the list.
- ‘National People’s Congress enacts historic law for peace’
Oh really, China Daily? Peace? That’s not the impression the rest of the world got. Decide for yourself. (Also, Running Dog says calm the f*ck down.)
- Shan-gay, Gay-jing …
The Miami Herald has a section on gay travel in China. We learn that Beijing “isn’t very gay” and in Shanghai “everyone’s so busy making money, no one even seems to notice the burgeoning gay scene.”
- ‘We are simply running out of time’
An amazingly candid — and frightening — interview in German mag Der Speigel with Pan Yue of China’s ministry of the environment. Here’s a taste: “[T]he environment can no longer keep pace. Acid rain is falling on one third of the Chinese territory, half of the water in our seven largest rivers is completely useless, while one fourth of our citizens does not have access to clean drinking water. One third of the urban population is breathing polluted air, and less than 20 percent of the trash in cities is treated and processed in an environmentally sustainable manner. Finally, five of the ten most polluted cities worldwide are in China.”
- What Would Ashton Do? T-Shirt
Appreciated by fans of Punk’d and fans of Jesus alike, this shirt is obviously the best one we’ve got. Do you think Demi has one? BTW, I’ll take two.
- Pedro’s house is for sale
The house used in the filming of Napoleon Dynamite — a quaint 1800 sq feet duplex — is available for a mere $105,000. Oh yeah, it’s in Idaho. (1)
- Warner Bros. to sell bargain DVDs in China
Prices will be around 22-28 RMB. DVDs will be available within three months of the movie’s theatrical release. Not good enough, says one Beijing resident: “The quality of pirated DVDs is already good enough. How many people will pay twice the money for negligible improvement?” make that three to four times the money? Sorry WB, this ain’t happening. (1)
- Forbes’ list of richest Chinese
Led by a high school dropout. (1)
- China’s Dylan gets animated
Reading Danwei directed me to two Flash-animated music videos by Chinese rock legend Cui Jian. The link above will take you to his 1980s classic “Rock ‘n Roll on the New Long March.” That led to this video for his new song “Mr. Red.” English lyrics for “Rock ‘n Roll on the New Long March” can be found at Cui Jian’s home page. Worth a look and a listen. (If Cui Jian is China’s Bob Dylan, does that make Bright Eyes America’s next Cui Jian?)
- D&D re-enactment video remixed to Bon Jovi
I will never listen to Bon Jovi’s “Blaze of Glory” the same way again. (Link via BoingBoing)
- China has 46 million bureaucrats
That’s nearly the entire population of England — and with worse teeth!
- Ted Leo singing Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone”
Yes, I like it. Update: Here is the video of the performance. (Link via kottke.org)
- Spike Jonze’s new dreamy Adidas ad
featuring music performed by Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. (Link via What Do I Know)
- More than 750 full-length, high-quality mp3 files from the musicians performing at SXSW.
Over 3 gigs of music. Might take awhile to download.
- What an easy, simple, creative way to network.
Give this guy a job.
- China wants monster trucks
God help them.
- How to find mp3s on Google
- Mike Doughty of Soul Coughing has a blog.
Now everyone has one.
- ‘China official proposes ban on lip synching’
“Chinese government advisors meeting here this week have some weighty matters to discuss: blocking Taiwan’s formal independence, alleviating dire poverty in the countryside … and lip-synching. Ma Bomin, an official with Shanghai’s municipal radio, film and television administration, likens the practice of performers pretending to sing to selling fake goods. She wants to pass a law making it a crime for a performer to do so without first notifying audience members. ‘Fake singing is no different from trading in fakes,’ Ma was quoted as saying in Saturday’s Beijing News.” (1)
- Who’s On First? redux
Chris Gavaler at McSweeney’s modernizes Abott and Costello’s classic bit and sets it in a modern-day video store. Funny stuff.
- Banhart and beer ads
Folk music eccentric Devendra Banhart has lent/sold some of his tunes to the New Belgium Brewery — makers of the mighty fine Fat Tire Beer (the drink of choice at Justin’s wedding) — and the results are worth checking out if for no other reason than to see Banhart’s decidedly non-commercial music used in a television commercial. The spots are fun … and kind of make me want to move to a farmhouse in Colorado.
- heathershayneblakeslee.com
Folk/country songstress Heather Shayne Blakeslee’s new webiste is up. Check it out. And buy her album Treon’s Cut Rate — No. 10 on the Shanghai Diaries Top 25 Albums of 2004.
- Boing Boing pisses off North Korea
I found all of this rather amusing. Some fun/interesting stuff throughout this thread. North Korea is so cute when it is mad!
- The new-and-improved China Blog List
Proof that every foreigner in China has a website.
- Maybe I’ll move back to Georgia after all
The Peach State finally allows people to fish for giant catfish with their bare hands! Yee-freakin’-haw! And to think I drove all the way to Mississippi to do it. (Thanks for the link, Rob.) (1)
- Want to be on reality TV?
Not sure why you would want to, but just in case you do, this is from the people at Quest China: “We are looking for contestants for our new reality tv show Quest China, Da Tiao Zhan. This is the second season of the Quest series. It’s about four teams competing in China: Team USA, Team China, Team Australia and Team UK. If you are at least 18 years old and a citizen of one of the above-mentioned countries, you can apply. Shooting in China in May or June. For the application form and more info about the show, check out questchina.tv.”
February 2005
- gizoogle.com
Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn: Shanghai Diaries would look like this if Snoop Dogg designed it. (For some ungodly reason, Gizoogle.com might be blocked in China. If you can’t access it, try this.) (1)
- Blog Cabin Republicans
Watch the Daily Show’s take on bloggers and the whole Jeff Gannon/Jim Guckert scandal. Hilarious, as always. And, as an added bonus, we learn the international symbol for “the reach-around.”
- The Chinese love them some fireworks
Especially this tool: “For many Chinese, Spring Festival without fireworks is like Christmas without Christmas trees to many Westerners. … Although fireworks also bring disasters, we can still enjoy it by strengthening safety measures during the production, transport, storage and setting off process, rather than simply banning it. … Banning the fireworks will greatly curb the attractiveness of this all-important festival. … I hope to hear the whiz, bang and fizz of fireworks let off safely next Spring Festival, for such noises are the sounds of a people embracing and enjoying their ancient culture.” I, for one, would gladly give up my Christmas tree if it would stop Chinese people from lighting firecrackers outside my apartment building.
- Got blood?
If you are willing to spare some, you might get a free medical exam in Shanghai. “Shanghai is trying out two new incentives to address its chronic blood shortage: free medical exams and accident insurance for donors. When the plans are fully implemented, Shanghai would become the first city in the nation to offer these innovations. The moves come even as some hopeful signs are on the horizon for the local blood bank. According to the Shanghai Blood Administration Office, 1,406 people gave 340 liters of blood during the weeklong Spring Festival holiday, a 30 percent increase over the same period last year.”
- ‘Lord, if the Chinese didn’t put Saddam on a slipper’
Running Dog — one of the best China sites out there — strikes again.
- Just wait until Playboy’s list comes out
The Science Institute of the China Management Sciences Institute — two institutes for the price of one! — has named the top 10 universities in China: 1. Tsinghua University, 2. Beijing University, 3. Zhejiang University, 4. Fudan University, 5. Nanjing University, 6. Huazhong University of Science and Technology, 7. Shanghai Jiaotong University, 8. Wuhan University, 9. Jilin University, 10. Zhongshan University. I can’t believe that my former employer Shanghai University is not included on this list. Oh wait — yes I can. (2)
- No news is bad news
“Chinese authorities ordered a news blackout on Monday’s coal mine explosion as the death toll climbed to 209 Wednesday, local journalists said. The propaganda department of Liaoning province in northeast China denied local journalists access to the mine in Fuxin city and ordered them not to report on the story, the South China Morning Post reported Wednesday. Newspapers were told to use only the reports provided by the official Xinhua news agency.”
- ‘Surging Toilet Paper Demand Alarms China’
“Surging demand for toilet paper in China has some of the nation’s suppliers in a flush, state press said Tuesday. ‘I’m happy to see many young people adopt paper tissues for the convenience, which is a sign that reflects our social development and has helped improve our industry,’ Wang Yueqin, vice-director of Shanghai Paper Trade Association, said. But Wang, quoted in the China Daily newspaper, said he was ‘beginning to worry about the large wood consumption’ and the industry needed to consider other technologies and uses.” So what did people use before they adopted the use of toilet paper?
- An open letter to Henry Blodget
A thoughtful post from Perry Wu at ChinaTechNews.com. “First, most foreign companies in China fail. That begs the question: why do they still keep on coming? The standard answer is that with a population of 1.3 billion, you can’t afford to ignore China. It is too big, too important, has too much potential to ignore. That might be true, but I think there is a different reason. You read all the time about multinational companies, venture capitalists and small businessmen pouring into China. But I think their rationale is largely suspect. I don’t think they are taking into account the hard economic realities.”
- China is world’s top consumer
But we’re still fatter!
- Hu Jintao named world’s third-worst dictator
Bush didn’t make the list, but … (enter “world’s biggest dick” joke here).
- Shanghai’s ‘exotic’ suburbs
“Thames Town will have a British exhibition hall where planners envision screening a James Bond film festival, and a church where, says one promotional poster, ‘you can adopt exotic marriage customs in which you exchange vows in front of a pastor.’”
- China recycles!
Unfortunately, it’s recycling The Great Wall. “Road builders demolished a large section of China’s World Heritage-listed Great Wall last month in an indication of the perilous state of one of the world’s best known landmarks … Almost 100m of the wall in northern Ningxia autonomous region was levelled in two overnight raids by construction workers who used the material to pave a road.”
- ‘The Budget Traveller’s Guide to Sleeping in Airports’
FYI. The seats aren’t much good for sleeping on at Pudong International Airport. This site is worth a look — designed for cheapskates and unlucky travelers alike.
- ‘George W Bush Speechwriter’
Some Brit has way too much time on his hands — and thank God for it. Fun. Fun. Fun.
- Bored in Shanghai during Spring Festival?
Thankfully, you can go and watch animals — bulls and cocks — try to kill each other at Peace Park. But, the Shanghai Daily story is quick to point out, this is not cruelty to animals, it is tradition … it is “art.” “The Chinese folk activity was not only for the spectacle it provided but was also an expression of people’s respect for, and even worship of, the bull which was regarded as an animal crucial for a successful crop harvest. It was also considered to be a good way to inspire people and give them a feeling of triumph and a sense of achievement. The outcome of each contest was uncertain and, at the same time, involved no blood-thirstiness which suits the Chinese temperament.” Right, right. I’ve been to bull fights — and cock fights — in China. The crowd wants blood.
- Congratulations, China!
“For the sixth year in a row, China was the leading jailer of journalists, with 42 imprisoned, followed by Cuba with 23, Eritrea with 17 and Myanmar with 11 behind bars.” Should I be worried? (By the way, wondering what the hell Eritrea is? According to good ol’ Wikipedia: “The State of Eritrea is a country in northeast Africa. It is bordered by Sudan in the west, Ethiopia in the south, and Djibouti in the east. The northeast of the country has an extensive coastline with the Red Sea. Having achieved independence in 1993 from Ethiopia, Eritrea is currently one of the youngest independent states.”)
- Super Bowl MVP? My money’s on Yao Ming
“Chinese television viewers will have a chance to vote for the Most Valuable Player in Sunday’s Super Bowl as part of the National Football League’s five-year promotional deal in China. Sunday’s championship game between New England and Philadelphia marks the completion of the first season in a five-year NFL deal with Shanghai Media Group to promote American football to a Chinese audience.” Wait … does this mean there have been NFL games on Shanghai TV all year long — and nobody told me?
- Putting the ‘miserable’ in Les Miserables
They are planning a Chinese language version of the musical in Shanghai. They call this process “localizing.” (1)
- Got $3 million?
Then you too can own a historic Shanghai villa!
- China’s ‘austere’ social problems
An honest look at some big issues from a surprising source — People’s Daily Online.
- superfuture — ‘urban cartography for global shopping experts’
It seems all I ever do is write about Shanghai maps anymore. But this one has potential. The Shanghai map at Superfuture is far from complete — especially when you compare it to the New York and Tokyo offerings — but it is a start. And the maps look really good. There are a smattering of bar/shop/restaurant reviews, which seem to have been done during a three month span in late 2004. Unless Superfuture employs a contact in Shanghai, these maps could become become outdated really quick the ways shops come and go in this city. Looks like Michael Darragh — he of Chairman Meow fame — had something to do with the Shanghai section, but last I heard he was living in Barcelona. Worth a look, but definitely sells Shanghai short. (For even more info on Shanghai maps go here.) [Superfuture link via Danwei]
- China’s ‘Father Nature’
There’s no money in the tree-saving business. Just ask Xing Yiqian, the rags-to-riches-to-rags “tree God” of Hainan Island. A touching story.
- Have faith, people
Reports Xinhua with a straight face: “Head of China’s top political advisory body says the government will stick to its policy of supporting religious freedom in the country. Speaking at a symposium on religion Tuesday in Beijing, Jia Qinglin praised China’s achievements in religious work in 2004. The official also said the Regulations on Religious Affairs mark an important progress in religion-related laws.” Great news! I guess we’ll just have to take their word for it.
- The best album of 2005
OK, I know it’s barely February, but Bright Eyes has set the bar pretty high with I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning, some pretty addictive Americana that boasts Emmylou Harris and My Morning Jacket’s Jim James as background singers. I wonder if I would like this album so much if I was living in the U.S., where, I’ve been told, Conor Oberst (aka Bright Eyes) has been somewhat of a media slut recently. I wonder if I would have been too turned off by the attention, the magazine covers, the Winona Ryder dating — not to mention the Dylan comparisons — to even give this record a chance. Thank God I live in China. Top-40 pop star or not, Oberst has put together one hell of an indie effort. Download “Lua” and “Another Travellin’ Song” for free from Amazon. (Bright Eyes released I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning simultaneously with another full-length called Digital Ash in a Digital Urn, an electronic effort that feels rather melodramatic and sophomoric by comparison. I don’t recommend that one.)
- Query Letters I Love
Think that Hollywood churns out a bunch of crap? Well, just look at some of the shit that gets turned down.
- Website van de Maand
I’m sure you all were aware of this already, but here it goes anyway: Shanghai Diaries has been named “Website of the Month” by Geledraak.nl, which we all know is “the most important portal for China” … in the Netherlands. Here’s what they had to say: “Shanghai Diaries van Dan Washburn is een weblog in de beste zin van het woord. Levendig, afwisselend en nog eens goed geschreven ook. Van serieuze economische berichten uit de pers, tot foto’s van voetstappen in de sneeuw in Shanghai. Zeer lezenswaardig is ook het verslag van Dan’s vier maanden durende reis door China in 2004, met prachtige foto’s. Een site om at random doorheen te klikken en je te laten verrassen. Uitgeroepen als Best Mainland China Blog in 2004.” Yeah, that sounds about right. (Thanks Hugo!)
- Ben Folds’ new one due in April … finally
How long has it been since Ben Folds released a full-length album? Well, when Rockin’ The Suburbs came out, 911 were still just numbers we dialed for emergencies. Sure he’s given us some EPs, but we’re ready for the real thing. And Pitchfork tells us we don’t have to wait much longer. “Ben Folds is getting ready to release Songs For Silverman, his second full album since the dissolution of Ben Folds Five, on April 26. … And just to make sure expectations for the album are nice and low, Folds brought Weird Al Yankovic in to sing backing vocals on ‘Time.’” (1)
- Wired, Tired or Expired?
Looks like I’m wired, tired and expired.
- Our future is in good hands
Oh wait … no it’s not. Looks like more than a third of American high school students would rather live in China. This is scary shit: “One in three U.S. high school students say the press ought to be more restricted, and even more say the government should approve newspaper stories before readers see them, according to a survey being released today. The survey of 112,003 students finds that 36% believe newspapers should get ‘government approval’ of stories before publishing; 51% say they should be able to publish freely; 13% have no opinion.”
January 2005
- AudioScrobbler
Ever want to raid someone’s CD collection? Well, now you can. AudioScrobbler is like Friendster for music fans. Sign-up and follow the link above and you can listen to my very own radio station — something I know you all have been dying to do. The site also provides music recommendations based on the listening habits of users who have similar musical tastes. By the way, my musical tastes are 72.7 percent in line with a user named SunkistAmes, a 19-year-old American girl. I’m sure she’ll be excited to receive a private message from me, 31-year-old ShanghaiDan.
- A TV commercial that I like
“Warriors” by Nike. Parental discretion is advised. (1)
- Picasso prints on display in Shanghai
FYI. “Some never before seen prints by the Spanish master Picasso went on display at the Shanghai Urban Planning Exhibition Center recently. The exhibition, the largest of this kind in recent years, features 265 Picasso prints … The exhibition will be open to the public from January 28 to March 2 at a cost of 40 yuan.”
- Thinking about blaming China?
Think again. This is rather surprising. “China may not prove such an easy catfish to fry this time around. ‘American Attitudes Toward China’ — a scientific survey of more than 1,200 American adults, just released — reveals that China’s image today is dramatically different from what it used to be. … (A) major Zogby poll shows that significantly more Americans today view China positively than ten years ago and that Americans value China more than they fear it. Americans also regard China as more of a U.S. ally than either Saudi Arabia or France (you need to read that one twice, ok?); fully six out of 10 Americans view low-cost goods from China as a net benefit to America, and only three out of 10 members of the general public blame Beijing for the U.S.-China trade imbalance.”
- “His eye was hanging out of its socket”
Don’t wear a white flower in Beijing. Frightening.
- Tall Or Not?
How do you stack up against celebrities? Height-wise, that is. Find out here. I always knew Traci Lords and I would look good together. (Link via Boing Boing.)
- clownpenis.fart
Ahhhh. Good old late-90s “dot com boom” humor. Never gets old.
- ‘More foreigners come to Shanghai to seek employment’
“At present, a total of 33,824 foreigners are employed in Shanghai and 15,537 of them received employment permission certificate from SMLSSB in 2004, up 40.2 percent year-on-year.” That’s it?!? I’ve seen more foreigners downstairs at the Blarney Stone on a Thursday night.
- Chinese holidays are ridiculous
The Chinese government just announced the “official” Spring Festival holiday schedule. And, as usual, it was a late announcement — offering 1.3 billion people very little time to make holiday plans. Shanghai blogger Wang Jian Shuo shows how sometimes a holiday really isn’t much of a holiday at all: “The Chinese New Year, Spring Festival, starts from Feb 9 to Feb 15, 2005. There will be a long vacation for people in China. … That means, in exchange of the continuous holiday, people need to work 9 days continuously from Jan 31 (Mon) to Feb 8 (Tue). This is very similar to the arrangement of the last year. My friend in New York heard people in China have much more holidays than they do in New York. It is not true.”
- Hey, all you nonsmoking nancies!
Why don’t you move your asses to f**king Bhutan! (They just banned smoking recently.) Slate.com tells us why: “The answer lies not in Bhutan’s religion but in its famous quirkiness. This is a country that has elevated contrariness to a national trait. … If Bhutan were a celebrity, it would be Johnny Depp — reclusive, a bit odd, but endearing nonetheless.” But doesn’t Depp smoke? (Um, yes.)
- Thank God for the Philippines
From Salon.com: “Of 21 nations polled by the BBC, only people in the Philippines, Poland and India view Bush’s reelection positively. And the world’s dislike of the president is turning into a dislike of Americans generally.”
- ‘Better Homes And Gardens To Publish Chinese Edition’
But will they change the name to Better Apartments and Gardens?
- ‘Inauguration: Lifestyles of the Rich and Heartless’
From The Progress Report: “A look at this week’s festivities by the numbers:
• $40 million: Cost of Bush inaugural ball festivities, not counting security costs.
• $2,000: Amount FDR spent on the inaugural in 1945 — about $20,000 in today’s dollars.
• $20,000: Cost of yellow roses purchased for inaugural festivities by D.C.’s Ritz Carlton.
• 200: Number of Humvees outfitted with top-of-the-line armor for troops in Iraq that could have been purchased with the amount of money blown on the inauguration. …”
The list goes on and on. (Link via Salon.com) (1)
- Cultists for Bush
And you thought the Religious Right was f**ked up. “A mysterious committee backed by members of a secretive religious group whose members are forbidden to vote spent more than $500,000 on newspaper ads last year supporting President Bush and U.S. Senate candidate Mel Martinez. … The group of men who formed the committee belong to the Exclusive Brethren, a reclusive religious group with roots in England and Australia. The group includes members from Knoxville, Tenn., Omaha, Neb., and other U.S. cities. Members of the Exclusive Brethren do not vote, read newspapers, watch television or participate in the outside world, according to published reports.” (Link via Salon.com)
- But can she tie her shoes?
“A five-year-old girl successfully repeated 3,020 digits after the decimal point of Pi in 30 minutes, which set a record for the most after-point digits a preschool child has been able to recite. The girl’s parents said they would apply to the Guinness Book of World Records Shanghai office for her accomplishment. Long Limin, the girl’s father said his daughter had spent only three months memorizing the 3,020 digits.” Where was the previous record holder from? Yep. China.
- istolebrad.com
Um, yeah. I’m sure Brad Pitt is attracted to the kind of girl who would wear a “BRAD LEFT JEN FOR ME” T-shirt. (1)
- Sick of The Arcade Fire?
I’m not. Follow the above link to watch and listen to this site’s favorite band perform on KCRW’s “Morning Becomes Eclectic.” For more on the show — including a set-list, images and mp3s — head over to Stereogum.
- Pepsi’s new China marketing ploy? Mini-skirts
“In Pepsi’s latest strike, the U.S. giant plans to sit girls in mini-skirts inside transparent drinks vending machines in downtown Shanghai.” No word on what happens to the mini-skirts if you “accidently” deposit too much money into the machine.
- Jennifer Garner is not an adult
She only plays one on TV. It’s best not to learn too much about your “dream girls” — otherwise you learn things that send your fantasy plummeting back down to reality. Take Ms. Garner’s taste in music, for example, based on her iTunes celebrity playlist. Her “workout mix” is bad, but it’s much better than her quotes that accompany each song on the list. This song really gets me going!! It makes me really want to move! Easy on the exclamation marks, Elektra.
- ‘Manchester United coming to China’
If such things interest you, mark your calendars: “Manchester United will bring its all-star squad to China in July for a friendly against Chinese Super League team Beijing Hyundai. The Red Devils will take the field at Beijing’s Workers’ Stadium on July 26 as part of an Asian tour.”
- ‘Chinese men turning to cosmetics’
Maybe. But it’s still hard to find deodorant in Shanghai.
- What is your pimp name?
OK, we’ve figured out our Chinese names, now let’s get serious. What’s your pimp name, playas? Mine is Ice Dan Pappy. Word.
- Shanghai jails two Americans for selling pirated DVDs
On America’s urging, China cracks down on copyright infringement … and determines its problem is the fault of the foreigners. Ironically, the Americans were not charged with selling illegal goods. No, their crime was running a business without a license. You see, you need a proper license to sell illegal goods in China.
- Google vs. Comment Spam
Let’s hope the good guys win.
- ‘New Internet virus shows up as Andy Lau’
“Internet security experts intercepted a virus masquerading itself as photos of Hong Kong star Andy Lau, software security company Rising said. The virus, dubbed Backdoor. Delf.s, mainly spreads through LAN (local area network) and shows up as ‘My photos.exe.’ When users started it, a photograph of Andy Lau will turn up, indicating the computer is already attacked by the virus.” Interesting. I have long expected to read reports that involve both Andy Lau and the word “backdoor,” though obviously not in this context. I mean, come on — just look at this picture! (1)
- ‘U.S. Is Punishing 8 Chinese Firms for Aiding Iran’
The New York Times reports: “The Bush administration imposed penalties this month against some of China’s largest companies for aiding Iran’s efforts to improve its ballistic missiles. The move is part of an effort by the White House and American intelligence agencies to identify and slow important elements of Iran’s weapons programs.” And I have a scoop: I’m pretty sure most of this aid is arriving in Iran disguised as — you guessed it — walnuts.
- ‘China’s top ten news stories on agriculture in 2004 unveiled’
Oooooh. I’ve been waiting a long time for this one! It’s all good news, too. Thank God. Life must be perfect for China’s farmers.
- Charming Backs
Unofficial Skinhua watchdog Danwei.org directs us to the Chinese state-run news service’s latest hard-hitting photo essay. Cover your eyes, kiddies.
- Bad Medicine
China described media reports alleging that it provided expired food to people in tsunami affected nations as “very evil.”
- A proper send-off
The People’s Daily’s 55-word obit for “Comrade Zhao Ziyang.”
- What’s your Chinese name?
This site told me mine should be 伍 努 (wu dian nu). I think I’ll stick with 丹 (dan). (1)
- ‘Rising China to haunt Bush in second term’
But don’t worry — Bush will continue to haunt the rest of the world. (1)
- ‘Governance capability,’ and other ‘hot issues’ of 2004
From China Daily: “A list of the top 10 phrases of 2004, which has just been released by a consortium of language monitoring agencies and media associations, pinpoints the hot issues of the year and may suggest the direction in which the country is heading. In the order of frequency of media mentions, the top 10 phrases are: governance capability, Athens Olympics, Liu Xiang, auditing storm, zero tariff, scientific development philosophy, subsidy for farmers who lost land, anti-secession law, Sino-French Culture Year and tsunami.” Earlier, we are told that these phrases “epitomize what’s on the the nation’s mind.” Interestingly, I got together with some of my Chinese friends recently — we were celebrating the end of Sino-French Culture Year, of course — and we came up with the exact same list. Johnson will be especially happy to learn that “auditing storm” made the cut — he uses that one all the time. And the “subsidy for farmers who lost land” t-shirts now on sale in this site’s online store are easily my top sellers. What a great list!
- Crazy Eights
And the crazy Chinese who spend big money for them: “Saddened by the tsunami disaster, a Chinese business executive has decided to auction off his unique instant messenger number … The number, 88888, for the internet messenger QQ, is being auctioned on a domestic Web site with bidding reaching 112,000 Yuan ($13,532) on Wednesday and still rising … The number, regarded as lucky among the Chinese because its pronunciation is close to the pronunciation of fortune, is said to belong to Ma Huateng, the CEO of QQ supplier, Tencent.”
- Blog On
That’s the name of what looks to be a new semi-regular feature in City Weekend highlighting China’s blogs. This week, the English-language mag focuses on John’s Sinosplice and Leylop, which I can’t get to load here in Hawaii. Here’s a taste of what they said about Sinosplice: “With John, expats can share the frustrations of teaching … His comments are insightful and often humorous … Sinosplice is a well-executed and informative site that is useful for new comers and old China hands alike.” I’m sure this makes John very happy.
- Haier is Chinese brand with “most potential”
Think that has anything to do with the fact that the brand’s name doesn’t sound Chinese?
- Russia is ‘looking to the East’
From Newsweek: “The Kremlin plays the China card. But is it really going to shift strategic ties? Not likely.”
- What happens when you lead a protest in China?
You get 15 years in prison. Nothing scares the CCP more than the thought of peasants uniting.
- ‘A Mac for the masses’
Introducing the Mac Mini: “Think about this: For $500, a little more than you spent on that iPod you love, you can trade every hassle, every worry, every headache that Windows has ever caused you for a graceful, elegant Mac, a machine so small that you can ferry it around with you from the office to the apartment, or bedroom to bedroom.”
- Tracker Tracker
The most comprehensive index of BitTorrent sites I’ve seen. For the illegal downloader in all of us.
- If you see someone carrying this bag, mug them
Please. (Link via Boing Boing.)
- Sydney the Sublime
Salon.com finally embraces the genius of Alias and Jennifer Garner, the addictive spy series’ butt-kicking babe.
- ‘Hot Kournikova in 2005 calendar’
That is the headline for a recent “story” by Xinhua, China’s government-run news service. Of course, there is no story. Just images from hot Kournikova’s new calendar. And don’t miss the “related photos” of Anna in a bikini at St. Barth. Xinhua writes, “Kournikova again became the focus of media’s attention because of her hot stature.” Speaking of hot statures, Xinhua also has a photo gallery of Britney Spears — wearing outifts the government won’t let her wear on stage in China — who, according to the story, is thinking about giving up singing (gasp!) to become a … forensic scientist. Why? She really likes the show CSI. (Visit danwei.org for more Skinhua.)
- ‘Graduates turn to plastic surgery’
“Many college graduates are using plastic surgery to improve their chances of getting a job, especially in Changsha, capital city of central south China’s Hunan Province. However, the Human Resource experts in some companies believe that a company pays more attention to the interviewee’s ability, instead of his or her appearance.” Better idea: Why not just go to school to become a plastic surgeon? That’s where all the money is.
- Chinese man trademarks Saddam’s head, expects bounty
If you’re not a regular reader of China Daily’s roundup of stories — all true, presumably — from the nation’s newspapers, you don’t know what you are missing. Scroll down to the bottom for this gem: “Lin had also attempted to register the portrait of Osama Bin Laden two years ago, but later gave up because his face was too thin and long. He thought Saddam had the perfect face to be trademarked. If successful, Lin will be able sell it for US$25 million, the same amount offered by the United States for the head of Saddam.” Not sure which visage was trademarked: Clean-cut dictator or homeless Hussein.
- Awww — Beijing reporters are sleepy
And the poor little journalists have sore tummies, too. “Out of the 1,182 reporters surveyed by the China Medical Doctor Association, only 28 were completely healthy, 2.37 percent of the total. … Meanwhile, a survey concerning the State of Health of Intellectuals released by the Shanghai Municipal Academy of Social Sciences in 2004 indicated that the average life expectancy of intellectuals in Beijing dropped to about the age of 54 from 59 a decade ago. The average life span for Beijing residents is 76 years.” So we can infer, I suppose, that most Beijingers are stupid.
- Food Porn
From the makers of the Monster Thickburger, I present you Fist Girl. Enjoy.
- Beijing planting grass … on rooftops
“The gardening campaign was part of the Chinese capital’s drive to improve air quality in time for the 2008 Olympics, it said. ‘Downtown Beijing is too crowded to insert more green belts, so we’ll try it on the roofs,’ Yang Zhihua, an official with the city’s parks and woods bureau, was quoted as saying. Green belts are urban areas set aside for planting trees and shrubs.” Don’t hold your breath, Beijingers. Actually, maybe you should.
- VH1’s The Surreal Life
More quality entertainment from America — and, naturally, it involves Mini Me pissing in the corner of a room. But that’s not all! “Early in the show he rubs the breast of one of his housemates — model Adrianne Curry — and passes out drunk while sitting next to former ‘Brady Bunch’ cast member Christopher Knight. To be fair to Troyer, Curry was nude but for a few carefully placed leaves, lying on a table where she served as a platter for sushi.” Wait, this actually sounds pretty good. Let the downloading begin.
- Turbulence!
The latest from the New York Times’ Howard W. French makes you worry more about the actions of your fellow passengers than the safety of China’s airplanes: “With so many new travelers, there is no culture of passenger etiquette, the kind in which travelers generally buckle their seat belts without being told, remain seated while planes are taxiing and defer to flight attendants.” This makes the job of flight attendent one of the most thankless in China’s new economy. And, as one said in the story, they get about a week off each year. One week. No wonder they rap.
- ‘Clinton, Chinese Publisher OK Translation’
No, seriously. For real this time. “The Chinese publisher, Yilin Press, had been concerned that some passages translated verbatim ‘would have a meaning in Chinese somewhat different than what I meant,’ Clinton said Tuesday. ‘We reached an agreement on language which, if accurately translated into Chinese, would make it clear that I have both differences in policy (from the Chinese) and a long-term commitment to reconciliation,’ Clinton said.”
- U.S., China relax visa requirements
This is very welcome news: “The United States and China have agreed to a reciprocal visa arrangement with both sides offering 12-month multiple-entry business and tourist visas.”
- NPR feature on — you guessed it — The Arcade Fire
How much buzz before a band stops being indie? Now you can hear them speak! (Link via The Catbirdseat)
- ‘Is your child in danger? You know who to call’
“‘Do you want to know whether your child is in love?’ ‘Are you afraid for their safety?’ ‘We offer bodyguards!’ Are just some of the slogans used by several investigation agencies in Qingdao, reports the Peninsula City Daily. … An agency bodyguard can tail a child 24 hours a day, and can even protect them in the dark, said a manager at the agency.” Kids surely will never be afraid again — with some big stranger watching their every move 24 hours a day … even while they sleep. Sounds healthy to me.
- Clyde Drexler signs deal with Chinese firm
But for the life of me, after reading this Xinhua story, I can’t figure out what this “Chinese firm” does or what the NBA Hall of Famer will be doing for them.
- ‘Mistress killers’ get the axe
“The Women’s Rights Protection Investigation Centre was accused of ‘violating regulators procedures,’ an advisor at the centre … said. … People had also complained to the local government about the center’s efforts to catch cheating husbands, a local newspaper said. There have also been claims that it ‘intruded on marriage privacy’ and charged excessive rates. Based in the southwestern city of Chengdu, the centre provided counselling to victims of domestic violence and failed marriages as well as helping women collect evidence against their philandering spouses. It was open for less than a year and in November won approval to setup a similar outfit in Shanghai.” [RELATED: ‘Mistress killers’ come to Shanghai]
- ‘A Divide China Must Conquer’
Not exactly a rousing endorsement of Hu Jintao from the New York Times: “When Hu Jintao took over China’s leadership two years ago, he promised a more socially minded version of economic growth, in which ordinary people, their land and the environmental future would no longer be trampled in a heedless rush for higher output and exports. But the disparities between booming cities and the impoverished countryside, and between thriving export platforms and a hulking, hopeless rust belt, are growing even more brutal. Mr. Hu seems more interested in silencing the messengers than in dealing with these problems.”
- ‘Shanghai farmers richest in China’
The question going through most people’s minds: “Shanghai has farmers?”
- Rent-a-Girlfriend in Chengdu
“Agencies in China’s Chengdu city are offering rented girlfriends to bachelors who need someone to show off to relatives during the upcoming Chinese Lunar New Year, state press said. ‘Love agencies are springing up in Chengdu offering an invaluable service for those men whose parents are nagging them to settle down,’ the China West Metropolitan News reported.” The story said fake girlfriends cost around 300 yuan per day, but at least one girl in Changchun is asking 500 a day (scroll down to third story). A friend of mine suggested that bringing a girl home might actually accelerate the nagging. Then I offered the brilliant idea of renting out pregnant girls — a fool-proof plan that I think is healthy for everyone involved. (By the way, the strange graphic above appeared with the story on China Daily’s website. They attributed the graphic to the AFP, which I find hard to believe.) [RELATED: Some relatives even wondered if she might be a stripper]
- Just when you thought Shanghai was (still) safe …
“A brochure on survival skills is available today from the Shanghai Civil Defense Office. In the following weeks, about 5.7 million Shanghai families will receive the free handbook ‘Citizen’s Required Manual On Preventing Catastrophe.’ … In light of the recent tidal waves that killed thousands in Southeast Asia, civil defense officials said they were considering to include information on tsunami in the booklet.” And I thought fearmongering was a U.S. thing.
- i m sick 2day :( gr8 if u cud fit me in ;)
“Three local hospitals in Shanghai announced yesterday they will begin to set up out-patient appointments, offer medical consultation and take patient complaints through cell phone short messages.”
- China acquires taste for SPAM
No, not that SPAM. “A source from the Internet Society of China’s anti-spam team on Wednesday said China has become the world’s second largest source of spam, after the United States. The source acknowledged that 180 of 400 IP addresses blocked by the International Anti-Spam Organization in November 2004 were Chinese.” Don’t know if it was Chinese or not, but spammers shut this site down earlier today for a couple hours. We seem to have the problem under control now, however.
- Starf**ks? Shenzhen opens ‘sex cafe’
“Shenzhen has opened its first family planning and sex education center in the form of a cafe. The cafe walls have illustrations depicting gynecological health and birth control. There is a variety of birth control drugs and devices such as condoms and intrauterine contraceptive rings also on display.” Oddly, the story never mentions whether this “cafe” will actually serve coffee — or if the large cups will be called Magnums.
- ‘Piracy Thrives on China’s Streets as U.S. Fumes’
As police shut down Beijing’s famed Silk Alley, the AP assures us that Shanghai’s black market is alive and well. Thank God — it’s Oscar screener time.
- CMJ’s feature on The Arcade Fire
Did you know that Win Butler is 6-foot-5 … and from Texas? I always thought he was from Canada. (For those of you who haven’t heard the buzz, The Arcade Fire is the band responsible for the best album of 2004.)
- ‘How to get pregnant’
John at Sinosplice has lists of the top search queries for Baidu, China’s popular internet search engine. The lists are equally enlightening and funny. The title of this post, by the way, was the No. 8 “how to” search string. [RELATED: 2004’s top Chinese and English Google searches]
- MENBOX
danwei.org’s got the goods on China’s gay magazine, which has the slogan “Caring for and loving men every day.” It’s also the place to go if you are looking for “a coupon giving a RMB 20 discount on the purchase of ‘SM leather goods.’”
- Is China cheap? Or just poor?
From the Washington Post: “Several Asian countries, led by Japan, have responded swiftly to the plight of their stricken neighbors, generating a major share of global relief aid and mobilizing as never before to help the region cope with a natural catastrophe. But the response has also underscored the limitations of China — a fast-growing economic powerhouse that nevertheless has not been able to offer anywhere near the amount of aid provided by Japan, the United States or Britain. … While China has achieved a great deal, analysts said, the aftermath of the tsunami has provided stark evidence of how much further it must go before it can hope to challenge the economic prowess of Japan or the regional military dominance of the United States.” Also, from MSNBC: China fails the tsunami test. Finally, Xinhua’s coverage of the tsunami.
- Xinhua = Smut Peddlers
Unless you are a loyal reader of danwei.org, you likely aren’t aware of the state-run Chinese news service’s obsession with the female form — the scantily-clad female form. Xinhua will use any excuse it can find to throw up some pics of girls in bikinis — and if it doesn’t have an excuse, it will still do it. Take today’s “story” for example: “Laura Prepon, 25 years old, is voted ‘girlfriend of the day’ by Maxim online. Click the pictures below to enjoy this special gift in the new year.” [RELATED: State-owned babe watch]
- ‘Lessons of Pirate Row’
From Newsweek: “Beijing’s aggressive defense of its cherished Olympic logo shows it can stop counterfeiters, if it wants to.” Later, the story says China’s counterfeiting “epidemic” now “accounts for roughly 7 percent of global commerce and costs U.S. companies alone some $50 billion annually.” I’ve said this before: I think that $50 billion figure is way, way, way off. Are they assuming that, if counterfeiting stopped, all consumers who would have bought a fake item will now buy the real thing? Ridiculous. Especially, in China.
- ‘Chinese avoid weddings in Year of Rooster’
“Couples across China are rushing to get married in the next few days before the Year of the Rooster, chickening out of what they believe to be a jinxed time to tie the knot. … Chinese media have reported that marriage registrations are soaring around the country as people scramble to get hitched in the last days of the Year of the Goat.” All these rushed marriages … I wonder if it’s unlucky to get divorced in the Year of the Rooster.
- Finally: Alias returns this week
And I finally have an excuse to post a Jennifer Garner photo on this site. Hopefully all the BitTorrent sites aren’t shut down before I can download the season opener. Here’s part of the plot: “The season opener is a costume-changing extravaganza for star Jennifer Garner, who finds herself running through the streets of Shanghai dolled up as a schoolgirl punkette …”
- Shanghai subways pack ‘em in
Ever wonder just how many people it’s possible to squeeze into a Shanghai subway car? Well, now you have your answer … kind of. “The subway system of Shanghai transported 470 million passengers in 2004, a record high for the city of about 18 million people, the Shanghai Subway Company said Sunday. The three metro lines in Shanghai received about 1.28 million passengers each day on average last year, up 16.3 percent from the previous year.”
- Is Liu Wei NBA material?
According to ESPN the Magazine’s Ric Bucher, we may never find out. Liu, a 23-year-old guard for the lowly Shanghai Sharks — and a close friend of Yao Ming — is facing “the mother of all Catch-22s: With proper year-round training, he probably could make the NBA grade as a third or fourth guard. But he can’t get that training in China as the lone star of a 3-12 Sharks team, and Chinese officials aren’t going to let him leave without some guarantee it’s going to pay off.”
- ‘Would You Buy A Chinese Car From This Man?’
The man who brought us the Yugo — which he admits was “the worst car of the millennium” — is at it again. This time with a Chinese car — the Chery — my favorite for the Worst Car Of The New Millennium.
- ‘Avon Lady’ knocking on China’s door
Business isn’t good in America. Will it be better here? There’s one major obstacle: “One stumbling block in China is the government’s 1998 ban on door-to-door selling, Avon’s way of doing business since former book salesman David McConnell founded the company in 1886.”
- This kind of shit just doesn’t happen in Shanghai
So Daily Refill was at Piano’s in NYC a couple nights back to see David Cross, Todd Barry and friends do some comedy. Not bad. Tickets were only $6. Even better. And then the special musical guest showed up. Who was it? Who was the band that played for a crowd of 70? Wilco. Yep, that Wilco. Fuckin’-A. And I’m here stuck with Sugar Mama. (1)
- Asia Blog Awards 2004
Simon has extended voting until January 4. So keep voting for your favorites every day!
- Surviving the tsunami
From Slate: “What Sri Lanka’s animals knew that humans didn’t.” Also, a Bristish guy claims to have surfed the tsunami. And, putting the tragedy in perspective, the AP has issued a list of the world’s deadliest natural disasters since 1900.
- Million Dollar movie
Roger Ebert’s top movie of 2004 is Clint Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby. Ditto for the New York Time’s A.O. Scott and Manohla Dargis. The NYT’s Stephen Holden has it No. 6, giving top honors to Pedro Almodovar’s Bad Education. Slate’s David Edelstein didn’t list Million Dollar Baby — but can we really trust someone who had the laugh-out-loud drama House of Flying Daggers at No. 3? Looking through these top-10 lists makes me realize just how many films I need to see before compiling my own best-of-2004 list, and it has me wondering: is the crackdown on piracy actually working a little bit? It seems Shanghai’s black market selection of current films is lacking compared to previous Oscar seasons. Has anyone else noticed this? Have you been able to find top-10-list worthy movies on the streets? I need my DVD screeners!
- China: It’s not our black market
You know all those fake CDs and DVDs in Shanghai? Don’t blame China. Blame the evil band of “foreign pirates.” That’s what Xinhua does.
- Zhao.com “unacceptable” as child’s name
“A registry office has banned a computer programmer in Xi’an … from giving his son a name with the dot-com suffix. … The father, Mr Zhao, said there was a good linguistic reason for using Zhao.com as ‘com’ sounds like the Chinese word kang, meaning ‘healthy and safe.’ … (T)he local registry office refused his request because the name was ‘unacceptable.’”
- First China Folk Stunt Show
“(A) 40-year-old woman from Liaoning Province in Northeast China … is dumbfounding all at the five-day First China Folk Stunt Show with her ability to keep a football aloft for more than two hours. Laid-off from her job, Liu Jinfeng started to practise kicking a football in 1997. Making the Guiness World Records, she can keep a ball off the ground using her feet, knees, chest, shoulders and head 10,208 times for two hours and 10 minutes.” I miss all the good stuff.
December 2004
- ‘Counterfeit eggs appear in China’
OK China, you win. You can make fakes of everything from Armani to, now, eggs. We get it. But, really, can counterfeiting eggs be cost-effective? Eggs are amazingly cheap here. What’s next? Rice? (Link to the egg pic via danwei.org.) (1)
- Free online Chinese flashcards
This is truly a great learning tool. Maybe I’ll finally learn the language. Thanks to John at Sinosplice for pointing out the link.
- People’s Daily names top sports events of 2004
There are two lists, one for China and one for the world. And they are equally odd. But really, who among us will ever forget the moment when “Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao signed the State Council Decree No. 398 … for the ‘Anti-Doping Regulation,’ … on March 1.” In fact, I think I saw that replayed on ESPN Classic just the other day. The international list’s only mentions of American professional sports include an NBA brawl and a drug scandal. But my favorite moment is on the China list: the Fifth National Peasant Games. Anyone want to make a road trip to Jiangxi next October for 2005’s Peasant Games? I’m serious.
- China hates Nike
This has gotta sting. Fresh off its much-publicized Lebron advert row, China, a country that sells fake Nike products like they’re never going out of style, has decided against the sportswear giant in — get this — a copyright infringement case. Evidently, a Beijing man, all of 28 years old, owns the copyright to — get this — the stickman! Wow. China’s sure got some balls — and they probably feature fake Nike logos. [UPDATE: Chinese hacker hits Nike’s site]
- Bad news for Bush
Right-wing wacko Pat Buchanan is calling Iraq “one of the greatest bait-and switches in the history of warfare.” If you’re a conservative and this nut starts criticizing you, you know you’re in trouble.
- Big surprise: China does something to piss off Japan
This time it’s about New Year’s postcards featuring the disputed Diaoyu Islands. Really, when will these two exchange Swatch watches and make up?
- Sloganeering
“Organizers of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games announced yesterday a call for a new Olympic slogan that will help present an exciting image of the Beijing Games to a global audience.” The story has all all the info you need to make your submissions. Here’s mine: “I am already sick of the 2008 Olympic Games.”
- ‘China’s Elite Learn to Flaunt It While the New Landless Weep’
Part of the New York Time’s The Great Divide series, this Joseph Kahn story looks at a Beijing man’s $50 million chateau and the farmers he displaced to build it. “In a generation, China’s ascetic, egalitarian society has acquired the trappings and the tensions of America in the age of the robber barons. A rough-and-tumble form of capitalism is eclipsing the remnants of socialism. Those who have made the transition live side by side with those who have not, separated by serrated fences and the Communist Party.”
- It’s damn cold in Shanghai
And I realized that all by myself, thank you very much. Thus, this Shanghai Daily story seemed a bit strange to me. “Winter has finally arrived, local weathermen are expected to announce today,” the story says. Looks like we’ve got some pretty influential meteorologists here. Not only do they forecast the weather — they control the seasons, as well. The story continues: “With temperatures hovering between 4.1 and 5 degrees Celsius yesterday, the standard was finally met to announce the arrival of winter. The season officially begins on the first of five consecutive days with daily average temperatures below 10 degrees.” Hmmm, I always thought winter began on the first day of winter. But I’m glad I have official permission to be cold now.
- ‘The road to Double Happiness’
Part 3 of 3 of the Chicago Tribune’s The Great Migration of China series visits with a Bai couple who made the big move to Nanjing from a village called Two Dragons: “Many migrants fail, beaten down by a system that, also like the industrialized nations of the late 19th Century, offers few protections. There are no unions or easily obtainable health insurance, and job safety regulations are lax. There is no independent judiciary and no guarantees that wages will be paid. People work at their own risk, but there are few limits to what they can achieve.”
- ‘World’s top 10 athletes in 2004’
Again, according to Xinhua. The list includes two athletes each from China, Germany and the United States. It includes two swimmers, two runners and one canoeist. Three of the athletes play ball sports: tennis, soccer and ping pong. Xinhua’s top athlete of the year drives a car.
- ‘Top 10 news stories in China in 2004’
According, to the state-run news service Xinhua, that is. And — surprise, surprise — it’s all good news … even the bad news. Like this: “After a series of major accidents in quick succession, including the tourist stampede incident in a Beijing park and major mining accidents and an air disaster in other areas, China explored ways to improve safety and to punish officials responsible.”
- Chinese hacker hits McDonald’s site
The site called Taiwan a “country” — and someone wasn’t “lovin’ it.” Bingfeng has some screen shots.
- Chinese kids taught sex … through cartoons
China, a country that didn’t have an official sex education textbook until 2002, is now using a Korean cartoon to teach its children about sex. Something in the Xinhua story struck me as odd though. “The book series, ‘I Want to Know Myself,’ is popular among primary and middle school students in South Korea. China has translated the books and made some changes to suit the needs of its own young people.” Changes? Sex is different in China?
- ‘Growth leaves China high and dry’
Coming to China? Bring some water. Please. “440 out of 669 cities in China are suffering water shortages, 110 of them are serious.”
- ‘Eating on public transport debated’
A hard-hitting¡ op-ed piece from the Shenzhen Daily about one of the biggest issues facing China today — eating on the metro. Here’s a sample: “I don’t agree with eating on Metro trains or at stations. Metro trains and stations are not proper places to eat but public places with higher demands for environment and comfort. It is not polite to eat in these places. Eating is forbidden in offices and should also be prohibited on Metro trains and at stations. As not everyone looks good when eating, someone’s awful eating habits may disturb others while damaging their own image. In addition, eating in such crowded places may soil other people’s clothes.”
- Shanghai installs GPS in garbage trucks
And and my district is the first district to test out the new system — how exciting. Based on these comments from one sanitation worker, the garbage men are about as impressed as I am. “Workers are still unfamiliar with the new system and I think the traditional way of managing drivers by telephone can handle any situation. In the past, we contacted and monitored our driver by telephone. Whenever we found waste, we would call the driver who is in charge of that area. It works well and I don’t think GPS is necessary.” It costs more than 3,000 yuan (US$361) to install the system in each truck and another 100 yuan a month in service fees.
- Shanghai ain’t London
So, watch out for those “black cabs.”
- Fox’s Daddy show: A new low?
Running out of Americans to insult, the Fox Network now targets groups like Families With Children From China. “In the show (called Who’s Your Daddy?), an adult woman adopted as an infant has a chance to win $100,000 if she can correctly choose her biological father from among eight men. If she chooses a fake, he will win the money. Five other father-and-child reunions have been taped but not scheduled.”
- 53 percent of Chinese speak Mandarin
I found this figure surprisingly low. Does this mean that I speak Mandarin as well as or — gasp — better than 47 percent of Chinese people? No need to start taking lessons again I guess.
- ‘A Corner of China in the Grip of a Lucrative Heroin Habit’
The latest story from a great-looking new addition to the Chinese blogosphere. The blog is called A Glimpse of the World. The blogger? It’s New York Times Shanghai bureau chief Howard W. French.
- Merry Christmas! (Now, go have sex)
“A domestic condom producer gave away 50,000 packs of gift-wrapped contraceptives yesterday in front of 10 of (Shanghai’s) biggest department stores. ‘Christmas stands for happiness and fun, so we want to promote sex education at this joyful festival,’ said Wang Jun, manager of Shanghai Ailun Medical Equipment Co. … ‘We didn’t expect that condoms would be so popular — almost every passerby took one, and some even asked for them. At some stores, we gave out our supply in 10 minutes.’”
- ‘A Chinese takeover’
First, the world — now … even more of it? Think all of the stuff you buy is made in China? Well, soon it probably really will be. “Already, the world’s most populous nation exports more than $60 billion in textiles and clothing annually, and some analysts predict that changes to global trade rules at the end of this year will hand China the biggest share of the $350 billion global trade market.” [UPDATE: Even the cowboy boot now sports ‘Made in China’]
- China: Fast food nation
From The Washington Post: “As the world’s most populous nation continues its transformation from a former outpost of communism into a place where spending power reigns, it has come to this: China’s cuisine is increasingly being altered by the growing consumption of fast food, with Chinese now more likely than Americans to eat takeout meals, according to a survey released last week by ACNielsen Corp., the market research firm. The survey, which polled more than 14,000 adults in 28 countries, found that 41 percent of respondents in mainland China eat in a fast-food restaurant at least once a week, compared with 35 percent in the United States.” Oh yeah? Well, we’re still fatter … for now.
- Tons of China trivia
From the People’s Daily via the French L’Express, dozens of fun China facts like this: “Shanghai is China’s largest city with a population of 17 million. GDP of the Shanghai region is equivalent to that of Brazil.”
- Fat? Try some tea
“Research conducted by the Guiyang Institute of Traditional Chinese Medicine shows tea drinkers on average have less fat in their bodies and have lower risk of obesity than those who never drink tea. ‘The average fat level in those who’ve been drinking tea for 10 years is 20 percent less than non drinkers,’ said Dr. Shao with the hospital based in the southwestern Guizhou Province.” Exercise might help, too.
- Admit it, Santa kind of freaks you out
Meet some folks who feel the same way.
- Introducing the ‘sarcasm point’ — ¡
“It is time for the adoption of the sarcasm point. Why the sarcasm point? We have a mark that conveys that we mean or know something. We have one that says it with volume and force! We have one that communicates that we don’t know something, don’t we? We need one more: to do for language what shade did for drawing, what color did for television, and what eyebrows did for expressions — introduce finesse.” Yeah, I think this idea might actually stick¡
- Asian ‘Jingle Bells’
Sinosplice has a link to a very amusing non-English version of “Jingle Bells.” No one seems to know what language it is — but, in this context, it sure sounds funny. In terms of Asian holiday classics, it ranks right up there with A Christmas Story’s rendition of “Deck The Halls.”
- The Beastles
DJ BC mashes the Beatles and the Beastie Boys into one very listenable album. If you liked DJ Dangermouse’s The Gray Album, check this out — I like it better. Follow the link above for a free download. (1)
- Mexican city bans indoor nudity
“‘We are talking about zero tolerance … for a lack of morality,’ said city councilwoman Blanca Estela Pulido of the Revolutionary Institutional Party, which governs the state and city. … ‘The majority of houses have a lot of ventilation, and we give ourselves the luxury of going naked. Because we walk past the windows, you see a lot of things.’” And it should help slow population growth, as well.
- ‘Mistress killers’ come to Shanghai
“China’s first women’s rights protection center opened its first branch in Shanghai, to help women there who are victims of family violence or think their husbands are cheating on them. Since the center opened its first branch in Chengdu, Sichuan Province, its employees have been dubbed ‘mistress killers’ by the media, because they help suspicious wives prove their husbands are being unfaithful. … Women who suspect their husbands of cheating or facing violence can contact the Shanghai branch at (021) 6354-0868 and 6317-7655.”
- China won’t let Nike ad die quietly
It’s already been a couple weeks since China banned a Nike ad that depicted a cartoon Lebron James conquering, kung-fu style, some Asian-looking characters and a dragon or two. Nike has apologized. It should be a dead issue. But China won’t let it be. Xinhua reissued a long Shanghai Star story yesterday that once again stirred up the “controversy” with hyperbolic quotes like this: “The ads shocked me when I saw LeBron James beating Chinese dragons and the sacred feitian symbols,” said Yang Xiling, a NBA fan who saw the commercial during the break period of the NBA game. “I felt I was being defeated too, along with the whole Chinese people.” It was a cartoon. It was banned. Nike apologized. Get over it.
- China to institute ‘vagrant tracking system’
China Daily is calling it a “vagrant information management system” and it “will help vagrants and lost people find their home as soon as possible and distinguish the real homeless and helpless from people who just take advantage of free food and other aid. … For example, Xiao Jiang, a 14-year-old boy, got addicted to online computer games and ran away from home after stealing money from his parents in Lianyungang of East China’s Jiangsu Province earlier this year. He wandered in the province for months and suffered from starvation and illness until aid workers found him and helped him back home.”
- China really gets into the Christmas spirit
Hotels in Beijing are selling costly Christmas eve dinners, charging up to 2,588 yuan (US$ 310) per person.
- ‘Fart Bomb’: Silent, almost deadly
“Hong Kong officials are pulling ‘Fart Bomb’ toys from the shelves because the gag gift — a metallic bag that gives off a stench — produces a dangerous chemical reaction, the government said. The sulfur-acid mixture produced by the toy can cause nausea, headaches and eye irritation, the government said in a statement Tuesday.” Yeah … so what’s the big deal? Sounds pretty realistic to me.
- Beware, Shanghai: Wal-Mart is coming!
Soon the big blue will be e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e.
- Robbie Williams Laments Giving Up Drugs
“‘Some of the best times in my life happened under the influence of drugs … and I’m not saying `go out and do drugs, kids’ but I enjoyed them,’ Williams said in the interview to air on Christmas Day. Asked whether he was confident about staying away from drugs and alcohol, Williams, now 30, replied: ‘No, I’m not confident at all.’” I don’t like his music, but Mr. Williams has amused me ever since I saw him on an episode of Cribs.
- Murdoch ‘building China home’
Here comes the neighborhood.
- The Shanghainese dialect is dying
And Tom and Jerry are at the heart of the battle to keep it alive. (Link via China Digital News)
- “Merry Christmas” is this year’s “F**k you”
Red-staters, like President Bush, use the phrase as a way to say, “My God is better than your God.” And in a related story, here is reason to be happy you don’t live in Raleigh, North Carolina: This Season, Greetings Are at Issue (1)
- In Shanghai, many are unlucky in love
“The Shanghai Matchmaking Agency Supervision Association is advising those looking for love to avoid being cheated by only dealing with its member companies, which use the association’s standard contract and legal invoice. … Yu Xinwu, a local man in his seventies, said he had spent more than 4,000 yuan (US$482) over the past nine months trying to find a wife. … ‘I’ve never seen a dating companion twice,’ he said. ‘I found many women unsuitable at first sight.’” Yes, there is a Shanghai Matchmaking Agency Supervision Association.
- Zhao Wei: Trying hard to become China’s Lil’ Kim
The famous actress/singer (in Asia, aren’t they all?) is accused of beating, or having her driver beat, a woman who was 8-months pregnant. Good to see Zhao Wei is keepin’ it real for her peeps back in the hood. (By the way, all the woman is asking for is $272 and an apology.)
- Wine may have originated in China
But, as anyone who has tasted Chinese wine will tell you, it was obviously perfected elsewhere.
- ‘For First Time, Most Say Iraq War Was a Mistake’
From the Washington Post: “While a slight majority believe the Iraq war contributed to the long-term security of the United States, 70 percent of Americans think these gains have come at an ‘unacceptable’ cost in military casualties. This led 56 percent to conclude that, given the cost, the conflict there was ‘not worth fighting’ — an eight-point increase from when the same question was asked this summer, and the first time a decisive majority of people have reached this conclusion.” Also, only 48 percent of Americans approve of the job Bush is doing. Thank God the election was seven weeks ago! Who knows what would have happened.
- China: Boxing no longer “dangerous”
“China is considering abandoning its long-time ban on professional boxing as interest in the sport grows, state media said Monday. Once regarded as a ‘dangerous sport’ and outlawed by the communists soon after they took power in 1949, national professional matches may again be hosted, said Chang Jianping, president of the Chinese Boxing Association (CBA).” In China, nothing is dangerous if it has money-making potential.
- They hate us. They all hate us.
From Bloomberg: “Being an American overseas these days can be a surreal experience. Virtually everyone, it seems, seeks that 10-minute why-I’m-upset-with-the-U.S. conversation. … And is all this negativity manifesting itself economically? Yes, argues Joseph Quinlan, chief market strategist of Banc of America Capital Management in New York. It won’t make him many friends in Middle America, but Quinlan thinks the U.S. image as a ‘rogue nation’ is a key force behind the dollar’s decline.” (Link via Peking Duck)
- The ‘English to 12-Year-Old AOLer Translator’
This is hilarious. You need to check it out. What are you waiting for? OR “THIS IS HILARIOUS1!1!!! OMG WTF LOL U NED 2 CH3K IT OUT11!!11 WTF WUT R U WATENG FOR?!!??!? OMG WTF LOL”
- ‘China rubbishes its Oscar favourite’
“In the west, critics have hailed House of Flying Daggers as the most beautiful martial arts film ever made. In China, the home of its director, Zhang Yimou, the epic has been given a resounding raspberry. … Although House of Flying Daggers grossed a reasonable 150m renminbi at the box office, newspapers and internet bulletin boards said it was a triumph of cinematic style over plot substance.” This is one time — perhaps the only time — I agree with Chinese cinematic popular opinion. As the man seated behind me said as the credits started to roll, Flying Daggers was a gruff “bu hao.” (2)
- ‘Get out. Shit.’
Those would be the only lyrics I understand in a rap song by a China Eastern Airlines flight attendant brought to my attention by John at Sinosplice. Yes, a rap song by a flight attendant — an angry flight attendant. For those of you who don’t know, China Eastern sucks. How bad? It’s worse than AirTran. So that explains her anger and, I suppose, the frustration of the passengers she releases it upon. Check out John’s story and the song here. It’s worth a listen and a laugh. Like most Chinese pop music, the flying rapper “borrows” quite a bit from the West.
- Xiamen or bust
This sleepy southeastern coastal town might just have become China’s spring break hot spot. Why? A recent survey showed that 90 percent of female postgraduate students at Xiamen University believe in premarital sex: “About 58 percent of the women surveyed said it is natural for a couple that is really in love to have sex — whether they are married or not. Seventeen percent said they approve of premarital sex simply because the practice is popular. Almost 13 percent said they believe that premarital sex is just like a ‘trial marriage’ and will enrich their life experience and make single women more mature.” Related: Experts call for more use of condoms
- China’s in love with an “alien beauty”
danwei.org has a revealing look at the Chinese media’s longstanding infatuation with Pamela Anderson’s bosom, saying that the “actress”’ proposed Chinese PETA ads are nothing to get too worked up over: “The Chinese media is already full of revealing pictures of Pamela Anderson. The image reproduced above is from state-owned news agency Xinhua’s website, and you can find it here, with a story (in Chinese) headlined ‘Anderson is kissed excitedly by homosexual pop star [Elton John].’”
- ‘Your blog or mine?’
My buddy Wang Jian Shuo was quoted in this NYT Magazine piece about sex in the blogosphere: “In July 2003, a Chinese sex columnist named Mu Zimei had the highest-ranked Web site in China once she started naming names on her personal blog. … ‘Mu Zimei has released the name of the men who has ever slept with,’ wrote a Shanghai blogger named Wangjianshuo. ‘This is bad. I believe a blog can reveal whatever you want to show about yourself, but not others.’” (Link via Peking Duck)
- In defense of Shanghai’s street vendors
From sina.com: “Most street food evokes memories of the past, like wonton, noodles, buns soaked in mutton soup from the northern part of the country. We cannot find those original flavours in well-decorated modern restaurants. The question is: How should the municipal government manage them? We can understand the government position with its concern for sanitary streets, the city’s image and food safety. But rather than eliminate street vendors, is there an alternative?”
- If you see a Chinese police car … RUN!!!
In a country in desperate need of positive road role models, this seems like about the worst idea possible: “The 2005 Chinese Policeman Rally will be held from June 28 to July 16 … (D)uring two weeks’ competition, the drivers will drive on twisty, narrow and dusty roads in more than 40 cities of China, covering more than 5,000 kilometers, six provinces and two municipalities. … ‘The policemen who attend this competition will get more skills and experience in driving, which will enhance their ability to fight against criminals who nowadays use good cars when committing crimes,’ said an event organizer.”
- Aww … Cute Chinese babies
Come for the photos. Stay for the captions.
- In Shanghai, one in three marriages end in divorce
“The figure marks a steep rise compared with last year, when the ratio was one to seven, reflecting new rules cutting the time it takes to get a divorce from one month to 10 minutes, the Shanghai Daily reported. ‘Ephemeral marriages lasting half a year, one month or one week are no longer regarded as peculiar,’ said Zhou Jixiang of the city’s civil affairs bureau.” (1)
- Meet Japan’s only certified Santa
“In a country famed for its perfectionist work ethic, the Santa students have a teacher with top credentials: Paradise Yamamoto, the only Japanese with a degree from the International Association of Authorized Santa Claus based in Greenland. Plump with rosy cheeks, Yamamoto is better known as one of Japan’s top mambo musicians, but became authorized as Santa Claus after passing a competitive test in Greenland.”
- Stock up on those $1 DVDs
“China is to make it easier to fight intellectual property right crimes, a move that may ease U.S. concerns over rampant copying of movies, software and other goods that Washington says costs businesses billions of dollars a year.” Billions of dollars? Really? You just don’t understand, Uncle Sam. Wiping out China’s black market — which will be impossible, anyway — will not result in a big increase in sales. Most people in China, myself included, just can’t afford a $20 DVD. Getting rid of the $1 knock-offs will do nothing to change that.
- A “final blessing from God”
“Chinese American Nobel laureate of physics Chen Ning Yang, 82, is reportedly engaged to a 28-year-old Chinese woman … It will be the second marriage for both of the two. Yang was survived by his first wife Chih Li Tu last year.” I think China Daily got that last sentence wrong. Or, at least, I hope they did.
- ‘China in Olympic-size stink over dumped dead pets’
File under Yuck: “Residents of Beijing are worried that the careless disposal of dead pets is hurting their campaign for a ‘green’ Olympic Games to be held in the capital in 2008, Xinhua news agency said on Thursday. Of the more than 200 pets that die each day in Beijing, only one is cremated. The rest are either buried or dumped in trash cans, Xinhua said.”
- ‘Staggered hours to save power in Shanghai’
From China Daily: “More than 8,000 enterprises in Shanghai began shifting their working hours yesterday to nights or weekends in order to ease peak-time winter power demands.” Does the story quote any workers to see how they feel about having to work on nights and weekends? Of course not.
- Prison Poetry: Shanghai inmates get published
The book entitled “Guilty Soul and Poet Spirits” is comprised of more than 150 poems selected from about 5,000 verses produced by inmates of Shanghai’s Tilanqiao Prison over the past 15 years. “Poetry writing and appreciation has been popular among inmates. There is a prisoner aged 73 in our prison, always taking an active part in this cultural activity,” a prison official said. Sounds like an interesting read — but I doubt there is an English version.
- Pam Anderson: Appearing naked at a Chinese billboard near you?
“I’m perfectly happy to bare my skin if it will help save animals’ skins,” the former “Baywatch” babe said. Will China’s censors be perfectly happy about it, too?
- Chinese love Pizza Hut salads … too much
Funny shit from boingboing.net — check it out.
- Chinese women talk about sex
From chinadaily.com.cn: “And although 55 per cent of the surveyed say they often change positions, the use of products to assist in sexual intercourse is very low. In America, 67 per cent of partners use lubricant, while 81 per cent of the Chinese say they never use such utilities.”
- China cans TV sex show two weeks before premiere
“‘The Masks,’ China’s first nationally televised sex talk show in which everyone was to wear a mask to hide their embarrassment, was scheduled for a Jan. 1 debut on more than 50 provincial and city channels.”
- Japanese men nap on fake female laps
Very strange: “The torso-less ‘lap pillow’ stands upright like a small cushion and resembles a woman’s legs in a miniskirt. ‘Single men find this soothing,’ said Mitsuo Takahashi of the seven-employee manufacturer Trane KK.” (1)
- China’s miners get the shaft
Fires, floods and other disasters killed 5,286 Chinese miners in the first 11 months of this year — and, according to the Chinese government, that’s an improvement over last year.
- China’s gays have much sex, little HIV knowledge
“Almost a quarter of China’s gay men have more than 100 partners with about 80 percent of them admitting to total ignorance about HIV/AIDS, state media reported.” And, in a related — and unusually underreported development — have scientists found the cure for AIDS?
- Singapore: Gay Xmas party an “affront and unacceptable”
Government says: “We know you’re queer, but not here.”
- America: Home of the free?
A portrait of President Bush made from hundreds of small monkey images led to the closure of a popular New York art exhibition over the weekend after a building manager at the exhibit site was enraged by the Bush painting. “This is much deeper than art. This is fundamental American rights, freedom of speech,” said the artist. “To see that something like this can happen, especially in a place like New York City is mind boggling and scary.” Yes — really, really scary. What the hell is going on in my country?!?
- Hu’s Your Daddy: China detains three critics
In the NYT: “Since President Hu Jintao replaced Jiang Zemin as China’s military chief in September, leaving Mr. Hu in full command of China’s government, ruling party and army, analysts say the political environment has become more repressive. … The crackdown could signal an effort by Mr. Hu to dispel hopes — already greatly diminished — that he would usher in a period of relative political relaxation when he consolidated power. … ‘The steps the authorities have taken are not by coincidence,’ said an editor at a major state-run newspaper. ‘This is a new era, but right now we’re moving backward.’” One must ask: Why?
- China’s billionaire boom
“When I started out, I thought the retail industry would be good, but not this good,” said China’s wealthiest man, a 35-year-old high school dropout.
- UFO spotted in western China
A Lanzhou taxi driver told the paper he was in his car when everything suddenly became “as bright as day.” When he pulled over, he saw a fireball with a tail of about three meters darting across the sky, he said.
- Chinese police round up ‘grandpa gang’
The senior citizen crooks — led by 81-year-old Jiang Jingquan — worked their way around rural markets stealing clothes and shoes, according to the Hong Kong edition of the China Daily newspaper.
- China ‘no longer needs food aid’
From the BBC: The UN World Food Programme is urging China to become a bigger donor instead of a recipient of its aid. “China has built its capacity to address its own problems, it doesn’t need us any more,” says James Morris, the executive director of the WFP. Indeed, in a somewhat related story, the state-run People’s Daily would have us believe that nary an unhappy farmer exists in China: Chinese farmers are harvesting with joy.
- ‘Sun Yat-Sen’ con man gets 11 years
A Chinese man who swindled some $66,000 out of four people by claiming he was revolutionary leader Sun Yat-Sen — who died in 1925 — was jailed for 11 years. “I thought it was a good idea to take advantage of my resemblance to Sun Yat-Sen to con money out of other people,” the man told the court. OK, this guy gets 11 years — but what about the dopes that he duped? If alive today, Sun Yat-Sen would be 138 years old. Unfortunately, one thing China doesn’t jail people for is stupidity.
- China: Welcome to Wal-Mart country
On Saturday, China abolished its requirement for foreign retailers to have a local partner. It also dropped regulations that limited foreign retailers to sell in only 40 cities in China. Newsweek warns us to watch out for Wal-Mart.
- Chinese coal mines: Down and dangerous
According to The Economist, China’s coal mines won’t be getting safer anytime soon. Meanwhile, here’s a story on the latest tragedy.
- Beijing ‘toilet valets’ to speak English
For those of you who enjoy a good conversation while you crap.
- Cashing in on China’s travel boom
Harry Tan is trying to clean up China — one hotel at a time. “The problem is that Chinese hotels remain clueless about basic etiquette and service, just as Chinese customers are getting savvy and willing to pay good money for value, (Tan) said” in The Straits Times.
- ‘Foreign newspapers are coming!’
Exclamation mark and all, that really is Xinhua’s headline for a story that says non-Chinese newspapers have been given the green-light to print in China. Good luck actually getting to read one, though. Zhu Weifeng, an official with the State Press and Publication Administration, specified that “printing and circulation are two categories. … The circulation of overseas newspapers will remain forbidden in China, in the near future.”
- China ready to crown ‘Miss Plastic Surgery’
Cosmetic surgery in China is now a $2.4 billion a year industry. Naturally then, it’s time for the country’s unnatural beauties to have their very own pageant. “Manmade beauty is a trend in China,” Xia Lingsheng, who heads one of the companies in charge of the event, told the AP. “We want people — especially young people — to understand that they should not blindly seek manmade beauty. They need to understand it.” Certainly rewarding women for going under the knife will not encourage them to “blindly seek manmade beauty.” Right? Right.
- Are human rights worsening in China?
Of course not. Just ask the country’s state-run media, which clearly sees the glass half full — just in time for “Human Rights Day 2004.”
- Mickey Mao
Why is Walt Disney making deals with China’s Communist Youth League?
- Chinese tourists allowed to visit US
Just as long as they fork over a $12,000 deposit, refundable upon return to China. For both governments, it’s not the going to America that’s the issue. It’s the coming back to China. “Currently, Chinese individual visitors to the United States have to travel on different visas for either business, study or a family visit,” the Xinhua story states. In a related story we learn that China’s government approved desitinations “now cover more than 60 countries. Last month, Brazil, Argentina and Chile were added to the list and since September 1 Chinese tourists have been able to go to 27 European countries.” [UPDATE: Not so fast, says the National Tourism Administration.]
- China ‘accepting homosexuality’
At least that’s what China’s state-run media outlet says. “A recent survey reveals that male homosexuals in China have exceeded 5 million,” writes Xinhua. “It’s the first official statistics in China concerning the gay people. Experts say the release of the figures indicates that China is now developing a more objective and tolerant attitude towards homosexuality.” Yeah, maybe — but perhaps Xinhua should stop writing about “the gay people” as if they are some sort of exotic species of wild animal. This is a sentence from another recent Xinhua story: “Male homosexuals, seen in public places, such as gay bars, parks, and public baths, account for 0.9 per cent of all grown men between 15 to 55, according to a survey.” Hilarious. And, in yet another queer Xinhua story, we learn that Shenzhen has 70,000 homosexuals. Accordinging to the story, published in the Daily Sunshine, the city is providing its gay brethren “special condoms” free of charge. (Original link via Jeremy.)
- Oh, so Beckham is Joseph
Based on how he is revered here in China, I always thought he was God or the son of God. But Madame Tussauds has set me straight. He’s Joseph. And Hugh Grant and Samuel L. Jackson are shepherds. I’m finally starting to understand religion.
- shanghaistreets.net
I miss live music. I really miss live music. I have heard rumors of a fledgling indie rock scene here in Shanghai, but I have yet to see any proof. The main problem, for me at least, was knowing where to go. You know you’re underground — deep, deep underground — when no one can find you. Hopefully this site helps a little. It’s got live music listings and reviews of shows. How complete is the calendar? No clue. Hopefully, if more people learn of the site, more venues and artists will submit their shows. One problem: I couldn’t find a way to submit shows at shanghaistreets.net. Did I miss something? (Link via Michael.) (1)
- China: We’re tough on … video games!
Beijing bans “Football Manager 2005.” Chalk another one up for the Strike Hard campaign. (1)
- If this doesn’t make you sad …
Disabled, poor Chinese putting their organs up for sale on the side of the road. Geez. (An AP photo via China Digital News.)
- Who is the new Confucius?
It’s some old guy named Bob. And he lives in Slingerlands, New York.
- Template for new journos in China
So true. So true. This made me chuckle — and it comes from That’s Beijing of all places. Check it out. (Link via Simon via Jeremy.) (1)
- ‘Your Call Is Very Important to Us …’
“Nine out of 10 Chinese calling into a suicide-prevention hotline in the capital Beijing are getting the busy tone, a newspaper said on Monday, adding that nationwide four people were killing themselves every minute.” Every minute? Five thousand six hundred and eighty a day? Is this a one-child rule partner program? [UPDATE: Maybe Reuters or China Daily got their figures wrong. Still, a hell of a lot of people off themselves in China.]
- China’s Textbooks Twist and Omit History
“Quite frankly, in China there are some areas, very sensitive subjects, where it is impossible to tell people the truth,” said Ge Jianxiong, director of the Institute of Chinese Historical Geography at Fudan University in Shanghai and a veteran of official history textbook advisory committees. “Going very deeply into the history of Mao Zedong, Deng Xiaoping and some features of the Liberation” — as the Communist victory is called — “is forbidden. In China, history is still used as a political tool, and at the high school level, we still must follow the doctrine.” No real surprises here, but Howard W. French’s story in the New York Times is enlightening nonetheless.
- In Shanghai, only 21 shopping days left until … (blank)
“The Shanghai media has been ordered to play down any stories that promote Christmas, a celebration the city’s propaganda chiefs worry may come to rival traditional Chinese festivals. The directive was contained this week in one of the regular missives that the Propaganda Department sends out to all media dictating how they should handle news stories.” Propaganda Department or Paranoia Department?
- Bush doesn’t know dick about sex
“A congressional staff probe has revealed that sex ed classes, backed by the administration of President George W. Bush, that preach abstinence for US teens feature incorrect or misleading information about the safety of condoms and the risks of abortion. … Some class manuals claim that condoms can help transmit the AIDS virus, that masturbation ‘can result in pregnancy,’ that five to 10 percent of women who have had legal abortions will be unable to conceive in the future and that a 43-day-old embryo ‘may be thought of as a thinking person.’”
- The Arcade Fire Funeral
Those Canadians sure know how to rock, huh? This album just blew me away. Right now my top contender for the best of 2004. What is yours? Leave your pick in a comment and I’ll try to check it out before I compile my Top 20. (To see my 2003 list, click here.) (2)
- Asia Blog Awards 2004
Go nominate your favorite Asia blogs now! Deadline for nominations is December 8.
- Shanghai installs smart condom machines
“Instead of using money, the new machines use smart cards, which are distributed to residents and entertainment workers for free, Shanghai Daily reported.” So, these machines must be “smart” enough to know that “entertainment workers” are really hookers, right?
- China’s Donkey Droppings
“So what are China’s new leaders, Hu Jintao and Wen Jiabao, really like? Are they visionaries who are presiding over the greatest explosion of wealth the world has ever known? Or are they ruthless thugs who persecute Christians, Falun Gong adherents, labor leaders and journalists in a desperate attempt to maintain their dictatorship?” The answer from New York Times columnist Nicholas D. Kristof: Both.
- What the hell is an advent calendar?
If you know the answer to that question, you may enjoy this holiday link from serialdeviant.org.
- A Very Special Sedaris Christmas
This audio play is from all the way back in 1997, but it should help you get into the holiday spirit … or out of it. Satirist David Sedaris reads from his Holidays on Ice book with the help of Julia Sweeney and Matt Malloy.
- Call China from the US
900 minutes for $10. I couldn’t believe it, either. But my mom bought one of these and it has worked great.
October 2004
- Bush voted “Movie Villain of the Year”
Mr. President just edged out atomic scientist Doctor Octopus from “Spider-Man 2” and a fellow Texan, Leatherface from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” (1)
- Eminem for President
Actually, against the president. Eminem’s “just-released video for his new anti-Bush song ‘Mosh,’ makes ‘Fahrenheit 9/11’ look like a GOP campaign spot,” writes Salon.
- Andrew Sullivan, Republican attack dog, endorses Kerry
If he doesn’t support Bush, how can you?
- New Yorker endorses for first time ever
Bush was just that awful.
- Even Bush’s relatives can’t stand him
“As the election approaches, we feel it is our responsibility to speak out about why we are voting for John Kerry, and to do our small part to help America heal from the sickness it has suffered since George Bush was appointed president in 2000,” the group says on its website BushRelativesforKerry.com.
- Man knocks himself out stealing Kerry signs
They’re idiots. Every last one of them.
- Who are novelists voting for?
If you ever wanted an excuse not to read Orson Scott Card, Robert Ferrigno, Roger L. Simon or Thomas Mallon, now you have one. Ridiculous.
- Florida’s Electronic Voting System
Specially designed by Jeb Bush. Click and give it a try!
September 2004
- Bush’s hometown paper endorses Kerry
Please read this … and explain to me how anyone can vote for Bush.
- Finally: Seinfeld to DVD
Will be selling on the streets of Shanghai soon … if it’s not there already.
- Does God hate Bush?
Well, maybe just Mother Nature does.
- No surprises here
Viewers of The Daily Show are more educated than those of The O’Reilly Factor. And viewers of The Daily Show are more likely to vote Democrat than those of The O’Reilly Factor. Coincidence?
- Good old Bloomsburg
So, we make national headlines for this … when all the world really cares about is The Bloomsburg Fair. I mean, we’ve got Skynyrd this year!
- Seventeen years too late
Leno to hand over The Tonight Show to Conan … in five years. In the pantheon of latenight talk show hosts, Leno is right up there with Pat Sajak and Rick Dees. Has he really ever made you laugh?
- Bush: OB-GYNs Kept from ‘Practicing Their Love’
Seriously, people, how can anybody vote for this guy?
- Like the Daily Show?
But you live in China? And you can’t seem to download Daily Show torrents any more? Well, this site has a lot of good Daily Show clips you can watch to get your fix. (Link via Peking Duck.)
- U.S. Near Seizing Bin Laden
Hmmmm. Wonder when this will happen. Late October, perhaps? Hopefully the American voters will notice the coincidence.
- TV Guide’s Watercooler
Sure, Damian may like Dick … Cheney, but he sure knows how to dish it out. Just ask good ‘ol Zell.
July 2004
- House of Flying Daggers
Not as sophisticated or poetic as “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” — which most Chinese tell me they hate — Zhang Yimou’s latest is worth seeing if only for the stunning cinematography and one amazingly exciting chase scene in a bamboo forest. Much of the movie plays like a high-budget Chinese soap opera and the actors all look like pin-up stars in period piece costumes. There are plot contrivances, an unsatisfying ending and some characters who just refuse to die. But where else can you read priceless lines such as these? “A decisive battle is imminent.” “I enjoy fighting a blind girl.” “She is bright, for a blind girl.” (FYI: I saw this in Xintiandi with English subtitles the weekend before I left for The Trip.)
- whitehousewest.com
Will Ferrell reprises his roll as George W. Bush in this hilarious spoof brought to you by America Coming Together. Funnier than anything in “Anchorman.”
- JibJab presents “This Land”
Finally an animated sing-along that features President Bush straddling a nuclear missle and John Kerry dolled up in S&M gear.
- W Ketchup
“Freedom Fries” were bad enough. But this is ridiculous, petty, pathetic, childish … and for those reasons, it will likely make a shitload of money.
- Fahrenheit 9/11
I still haven’t seen this film in its entirety. The version I downloaded a couple weeks ago was missing around 20 minutes — including the scene where Ashcroft sings — and the version I bought on the street didn’t work properly. But I saw enough of the film to know that I agree with most of its politics. No surprise there. The film also reminded me, however, that Michael Moore’s schtick can be tiresome. He can’t resist the cheap shot or the wise-ass remark. He’d be better off, he’d seem more credible, just relying on his facts. Wouldn’t have been difficult to do here — because the facts are pretty damning for “President” Bush. I recently re-watched a better, similarly-themed film, the political mockumentary Bob Roberts, Tim Robbins’ satire from 1992. It’s scary how little things have changed, how much fact mirrors fiction. Very scary.
- Kerry picks Gephardt as running mate!
Well, that’s what the New York Post would have us believe. Thank God they got it wrong. I mean, really: Who wants a Vice President who doesn’t have any eyebrows?
June 2004
- The Top 100 Albums of the 1970s
I cannot take this pitchforkmedia.com list seriously: Neil Young does not appear until No. 65. Ri-fucking-diculous.
- Wilco’s “A Ghost is Born”
Don’t listen to the review at pitchforkmedia.com, this is a great album from one of the truly great bands of the past 10 years. Jeff Tweedy just may be his generation’s Neil Young, constantly growing and reinventing himself. And is it just me, or was Pitchfork’s Rob Mitchum’s main reason for not liking the album the fact that he moved back to Chicago?
- Lollapalooza 2004 Canceled
Question: How can a summer music festival featuring Modest Mouse, Wilco, Sonic Youth, The Flaming Lips, Pixies and Morrissey not generate enough ticket sales to survive? Answer: America’s taste in music is worse than even I had imagined. In the New York Times story, a promoter said “aging alternative rock acts” just don’t get people excited the way groups like Evanescence and Three Doors Down do. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. (1)
- “I feel like I’ve been eating this cake for 12 months.”
Great line from Keith in the season premiere of HBO’s Six Feet Under, which picks up where it left off … approximately 12 months ago. The strangest/saddest/funniest show on television is back — even for those of us without HBO and living in China. Unfortunately, I’ll only be able to catch three episodes before heading out on The Trip.
- The Barbarian Invasions
Intelligent, touching film with great performances. The best French-Canadian film … ever. Seriously, I think this is the only French-Canadian movie I’ve ever seen. One of several films that would have made my Best Films of 2003 list if I had seen it earlier. Others in that category include Shattered Glass, Raising Victor Vargas, The House of Sand and Fog, The Station Agent and The Fog of War.
- gunnerpalace.com
A different view from Iraq … rapping soldiers and all. Make sure you click on the trailers.
- Stop the hagiography
Sixty-six things Ronald Reagan should be remembered for.
- Read Tom Tomorrow today!
This Modern World is the best political cartoon out there. Period. If you don’t like it, you’re probably voting for Bush.
- Beer Pong: The Online Game
Not invited to the beer pong party at Dan’s new apartment? You can now play “America’s game” all by yourself.
- Veep-O-Matic 2004
Who would your running mate be? Let’s hope Kerry puts a little more thought into his selection.
- The care and feeding of foreign teachers
“It is inadvisable to frequently invite foreign teachers to banquets, they aren’t used to China’s habit of eating and drinking lots at banquets.” … And many more forbiddens and inadvisables!
