Dan Washburn's Shanghai Diaries

“you wanna try it?” … “it seems a bit big.”

my friend luis recently introduced me to an odd japanese brand of cookies. they go by the name kittyland and have a chocolate-ish middle surrounded by two chocolate-ish wafers. both sides of the cookie are decorated with a cartoon drawing of a cute-ish animal and a saying in english. the cookies are ok. the sayings are priceless. who knew the japanese were the masters of the non sequitur? open a box and you’ll wonder what the hell goes on in kittyland.

i’m thinking about throwing a kittyland theme party. and i think it would have to be rated NC-17. the wisdom espoused by kittyland cookies is always random, often bizarre and sometimes inappropriate … depending on how dark and dirty your mind is. (the cuddly characters juxtaposed with my interpretations of the suggestive slogans have made me think i have some serious issues. but what about luis? i mean, look at the box for these cookies. what, i wonder, could have prompted a grown man to grab a box of kittyland-anything in the first place?)

i bought a box today so i could share with you kittyland’s odd allure. i have listed all the sayings included in the box. and i have listed them in the order i removed them from the box. be creative and mix them around — like those word magnets people have on their refrigerators — and it’s not hard to come up with a dialogue suitable for penthouse letters: kids.

oh, i can’t wait for my kittyland theme party. enjoy:

* i hope she likes it.

* i’m a brilliant artist.

* add seasoning as you like.

* i love taking a shower.

* i’m going on some errands.

* big surprise!!

* what a pretty flower!

* covered in bubbles!

* let’s go swimming!

* it seems a bit big.

* how do i look?

* sounds great!

* a present for my friend.

* sleep well!

* here i am.

* a big catch!

* anything interesting?

* i can’t do without it.

* i’m doing well today!

* you wanna try it?

* i need the light on.

* fly far away.

* i’ll cook it if you like.

* covered in bubbles! (again)

04.10.2004, 4:13 PM · Humor

2 Comments

1. On Apr 14, 2004 6:35 PM, terra said:
   

   i once have eaten this kind of cookies which i think is so cute. it looks more cute than it tastes

2. On Apr 30, 2004 12:47 PM, Deedee said:
   

   Oh yeah I’ve seen this.. Bought them on a cold rainy day while lost and starving somewhere in Hongqiao. I had the choice of either Kittyland cookies or century eggs so it wasnt difficult to decide. I have to say that the cookies are disgusting (the chemical sweet kind that leaves an aftertaste and makes your tongue slimy). The captions, however, thanks to our fertile and creative minds, proved to be hilarious. Thank you Kittyland for brightening up that one shitty day!