Happy Freakin’ Valentine’s Day
NOTE: A shorter and less, um, explicit version of this story will appear in the February 2003 issue of that’s Shanghai magazine.
by DAN WASHBURN
I hate Valentine’s Day. And, I would guess, privately most of you do too … unless you happen to be wrapped up in the flowers, greeting cards and chocolate racket. There’s not much less romantic than a holiday that tries to force you to be romantic. There’s not much less romantic than V-Day’s origins, either. First, there was ancient Rome’s Lupercalia, the mid-February fornication festival that required each horny young boy to pick at random the name of a female (it didn’t matter if she was horny) to be his plaything for the following year. Erotic? Yes. Romantic? No.
01.24.2003, 7:34 AM · Humor, Stories · Comments (1)