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dvd doozies: ocean’s eleven/legends of the fall

Ocean’s Eleven (2001)
Legends of the Fall (1994)

Maybe they were busy drooling over Brad — excuse me, Bard — Pitt. Maybe they had taken a hit of that "head-shaking drug" my students keep telling me about. Or maybe there were some keys missing from their keyboards (check out the credits for Legends). Whatever it was, the folks who put these covers together are currently the odds-on favorites to take home the inaugural DVD Doozie Awards for Synopsis Writing. Excellent work guys. You have set the bar very, very high.

Note: These are actually covers for VCDs, the DVD’s uglier and — yes, I’ll say it — slightly slutty stepsister. Hey, at least they’re not called VDs.

In Reality

Starring: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Matt
Damon, Andy Garcia

Plot summary: Eleven criminal associates plot to rob a string of casinos in Las Vegas.

In Reality

Starring: Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, Aidan Quinn, Julia Ormond

Plot summary: Epic tale of three brothers and their father living in the remote wilderness of the colonial United States and how their lives are affected by nature, history, war, and love.

In China

Ocean’s Eleven plot summary (in case you missed it): Release on parlole out still that not until 24 hours, red Buddhist nun is just planning him and next one has planned from the prison. Three rules: does not injure any one; This man of destiny does not steal any(ly) should not to suffer; Do to such and extent that similarly your nothing can lose. This criminal of sly but has glamour begins the most complicated gambling house meticulous robs in the history. He hsa calld together 11 experts between onenight, and includes the playing cards past master, and top level thief and one blows up expert. They plan to rob away 150 million American dollars from three gambling houses if La Siweijiasi. This boss of three gambling houses is elegant but merciless Ben Nidike, His the by chance former wife Tai Si of rde Buddhist nun of appointment. Robbing To understand is in progress at the same time with fiery boxing match. La Siweifiasi does outside the territories of Hong Kong and Macau is strie ctly prohibited by the copyright proprietor.

In China

Starring: Michel Serault, Valentina Cervi, Mide Manojoovic, Artemsia Maurice Garon, Luba Xingaretll, Emmnuelle Devos

Legends of the Fall plot summary (in case you missed it):
playground bully, the tried-and-true orphanage situations the kids are like pup
pies hoping for new owners and the last-minute, cliff-hanging plays of the big
games. But the movie overcomes its lack of originality in the setup by making
good use of its central idea, that a pair of sneakers could make a kid into an I
NBA star. This is a message a lot of kids have been waiting to hear Aussie adv
enturer Steve Irwin …

01.11.2003, 1:31 PM · Humor, Movies